- Jim: I know how you feel, Mr. Hill. Afraid to take a chance. If you're like me, your wife would tan your hide if you thought for yourself.
- Hank Hill: Yep, that's why I'm not buying. I'm a big fraidy cat. I'm barely even a man. My wife chases me around with a rolling pin. It's got nothing to do with timeshares bein' on of the worst investments there is.
- Cotton Hill: Car payments? CDs? That ain't good enough for Topsy. I'm gonna use the money to do what he would have done. Hell raisin' and girl chasin'.
- Bill Dauterive: So then Cotton says: "I bet fatty here can't eat fifty potatoes", and the bartender said "No way", which of course was a terrible insult to the colonel's honor. Long story short: I was pronounced legally dead! But it was a heck of a weekend!