- Wooldoor Sockbat: [the housemates are role-playing, Wooldoor speaks to Xandir] "Now, you be the gay's dad".
- Xandir: "Oh, O.K".
- [deeper voice]
- Xandir: "I love football!"
- [slaps Toot, who is Xandir's mother]
- Xandir: .
- Wooldoor Sockbat: [points to Captain Hero] "And you be the gay".
- Captain Hero: [as Xandir's father] "I ain't gonna be no homo!".
- Wooldoor Sockbat: "Fine, you be Xandir's mum".
- Captain Hero: [as Xandir's mother in a higher voice] "Alright, I'm asking for this!"
- [slaps himself]
- Captain Hero: .
- Toot Braunstein: [Angrily] "Then who the hell am I?".
- Wooldoor Sockbat: "You're the homo".
- Toot Braunstein: [wistfully] "Can I be the dad?".
- Wooldoor Sockbat: "Fine, you be Stan".
- Xandir: [confused] "Then who the hell am I?".
- Toot Braunstein: [angrily, as Xandir's father] "The queer!"
- [punches Captain Hero, who is Xandir's mother]
- Toot Braunstein: .
- Wooldoor Sockbat: [disappointed] "I wanted to be the queer!".
- Captain Hero: I told you not to huff airplane glue when you were pregnant.
- Toot Braunstein: At least airplane glue knows how to make me feel good, Zima dick!
- Captain Hero: Zima helps me relax!
- Toot Braunstein: [roleplaying as Xandir's father] I'm the man of this house and nobody disrespects me! Now you get out of here and never come back!
- Xandir: But I'm your son!
- Toot Braunstein: My son is dead!
- [She begins the Jewish mourner's ritual, ripping part of her dress and reciting the Aramaic prayer of Kaddish]
- Toot Braunstein: Yitgadal veyitkadash shemeyh raba... .