Oh Doctor Beeching! (TV Series)

A Pregnant Pause (1997)

Su Pollard: Ethel Schumann

Quotes 

• Wilfred Schumann : [he's added lights and other accessories to his bicycle]  All the mods have got lamp reels on the front of their scooters.

  Ethel Schumann : But this isn't a scooter.

  Wilfred Schumann : I know. But it'll have to do until I get one, and then I can go to Brighton.

  Ethel Schumann : Brighton? That's a heck of a way to push a scooter!

  Wilfred Schumann : Not that sort of scooter, a motor scooter. All the mods have got them.

  Ethel Schumann : But you're not a mod, Wilfred.

  Wilfred Schumann : Not now, maybe. But all I need is my pork pie hat, my parka and a pair of hush puppies.

  Ethel Schumann : Can't you make do with an anorak, a pair of plimsolls and your bobble hat?

  Wilfred Schumann : No, I'd look stupid.

  Ethel Schumann : I'm saying nothing!

• Ethel Schumann : Well done, everybody - we've got 232 signatures!

  Jack Skinner : That'll show the bosses we mean business.

  Ethel Schumann : We did have 235, but I had to cross out Charlton Heston, Sophia Loren and Daffy Duck. And guess what? My Wilfred's gone with the petition to Mr Orkindale in person!

  Harry Lambert : Oh well, we can forget all about it then. He'll never find the ruddy place!

  Ethel Schumann : My Wilfred's alright. He's a lot brighter than you give him credit for

  [Wilfred enters wearing his mod gear and sporting a bloody nose] 

  Wilfred Schumann : [wailing]  Mu-u-m!

• Ethel Schumann : Oh Wilfred! Oh, what on Earth's happened?

  Jack Skinner : It's that stupid outfit he's wearing. He's got into a fight with some rockers.

  Gloria Skinner : [impressed]  Is that right, Wilfred? Have you been in a fight? How many were there?

  Amy Matlock : Where are they now? Were they good looking?

  Wilfred Schumann : I haven't been in a punch-up. The light fitting fell off me bike and it got caught in the front wheel and I went over the handlebars!

  Ethel Schumann : Oh Wilfred! Is anything broken?

  Wilfred Schumann : Yeah, me aerial!

• Cecil Parkin : [Reading the petition that Ethel has typed]  "We, the undersniged, are appealed at the dreadful freatment given to Arbold..."

  Ethel Schumann : Oh, that should be 'Arnold'.

  Cecil Parkin : "... and we demand that he be immediotely reinstoted."

  Ethel Schumann : Well, me 'ands were getting tired!