- Arnold Thomas: There's no romance in diesels. Can you imagine Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson having a brief encounter on anything but a steam train?
- Ralph: Yeah, but what they didn't show you was her getting of at Waterloo covered in soot.
- Wilfred Schumann: [he's added lights and other accessories to his bicycle] All the mods have got lamp reels on the front of their scooters.
- Ethel Schumann: But this isn't a scooter.
- Wilfred Schumann: I know. But it'll have to do until I get one, and then I can go to Brighton.
- Ethel Schumann: Brighton? That's a heck of a way to push a scooter!
- Wilfred Schumann: Not that sort of scooter, a motor scooter. All the mods have got them.
- Ethel Schumann: But you're not a mod, Wilfred.
- Wilfred Schumann: Not now, maybe. But all I need is my pork pie hat, my parka and a pair of hush puppies.
- Ethel Schumann: Can't you make do with an anorak, a pair of plimsolls and your bobble hat?
- Wilfred Schumann: No, I'd look stupid.
- Ethel Schumann: I'm saying nothing!
- Ethel Schumann: Well done, everybody - we've got 232 signatures!
- Jack Skinner: That'll show the bosses we mean business.
- Ethel Schumann: We did have 235, but I had to cross out Charlton Heston, Sophia Loren and Daffy Duck. And guess what? My Wilfred's gone with the petition to Mr Orkindale in person!
- Harry Lambert: Oh well, we can forget all about it then. He'll never find the ruddy place!
- Ethel Schumann: My Wilfred's alright. He's a lot brighter than you give him credit for
- [Wilfred enters wearing his mod gear and sporting a bloody nose]
- Wilfred Schumann: [wailing] Mu-u-m!
- Ethel Schumann: Oh Wilfred! Oh, what on Earth's happened?
- Jack Skinner: It's that stupid outfit he's wearing. He's got into a fight with some rockers.
- Gloria Skinner: [impressed] Is that right, Wilfred? Have you been in a fight? How many were there?
- Amy Matlock: Where are they now? Were they good looking?
- Wilfred Schumann: I haven't been in a punch-up. The light fitting fell off me bike and it got caught in the front wheel and I went over the handlebars!
- Ethel Schumann: Oh Wilfred! Is anything broken?
- Wilfred Schumann: Yeah, me aerial!
- Cecil Parkin: [Reading the petition that Ethel has typed] "We, the undersniged, are appealed at the dreadful freatment given to Arbold..."
- Ethel Schumann: Oh, that should be 'Arnold'.
- Cecil Parkin: "... and we demand that he be immediotely reinstoted."
- Ethel Schumann: Well, me 'ands were getting tired!