How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Mary the Paralegal (2006)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney : Or, it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter! Even better, triple threat: hotter, and bigger boobs!

  Ted : That's only two.

  Barney : Count again...

• Barney : Do it. Come on Ted, do it. This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.

  Ted : Sleep with a prostitute?

  Barney : No, lose your virginity. What up!

• [Ted not knowing the real deal] 

  Ted : Ok, look. Mary. I like you a lot. I'm sort of amazed at how much I like you, but... I can't do this, You're a hooker.

  Mary : What?

  Ted : Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm sorry. That's a deal breaker for me. I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.

  Mary : Ted, I'm a paralegal.

  Ted : C'mon Mary. There's no-one else around. You're a hooker.

  Mary : No, Ted. I'm a paralegal.

  Ted : No... You're a hooker.

  Mary : No... I'm a paralegal.

  [Ted, pausing, realisation, consternation] 

  Ted : You're a paralegal.

  [Mary raises eyebrow] 

• Ted : I can't believe I'm on a date with a hooker.

• Barney : You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with racists. Good day!

  Ted : You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can...

  Barney : I said good day!