Criminal Minds (TV Series)

The Fisher King: Part 1 (2006)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Quotes 

• Jennifer "JJ" Jareau : Please don't tell me you have a crush on a fictional character.

  Penelope Garcia : He's not fictional. He's the online alter ego of a real person.

  Jennifer "JJ" Jareau : [skeptically]  Hmm-hmm. But you don't know anything about him. Or even if he is a "him".

  Penelope Garcia : Okay, you know what? I do- look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting, during which time I have his undivided attention, and he lavishes me with flattery.

  Jennifer "JJ" Jareau : Wow...

  Penelope Garcia : When was the last time you had a date go that well?

• Penelope Garcia : [aggitated]  All work and no play, huh? All work and no play? You just wait until I am through with you!

  [picks up ringing phone] 

  Penelope Garcia : What?

  Derek Morgan : Garcia, I need a rundown on a guy

  Penelope Garcia : No!

  Derek Morgan : What?

  Penelope Garcia : The information super highway is closed.

  Derek Morgan : What you're talking about?

  Penelope Garcia : Someone had the nerve to run a black hat op into my computers, Morgan. They hacked me, okay? You can bet your sweet ass I will find them! I've got honey pot farms hidden behind UML kernel data packets and a first generation honey net I personally programmed. My snort logs every visitor, every server request, every keystroke on this entire network. If I had to backtrack his IP all the way to the freaking stone age, I will find this son of a bitch! So bye