Family Guy (TV Series)

Deep Throats (2006)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Scare Crow, Opera Singer, Jesus Christ, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Kermit the Frog, Vern, Captain Seamus, Voiceover in CD #2, Man in Sauna #2

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : All we need is one incriminating entry in this date book and that's our ticket to...

  [Brian and Stewie notice Peter and Lois lying on the couch, nude] 

  Peter Griffin : Hey, Brian. What's up?

  Brian Griffin : Uh, hi, uh, Lois... Peter.

  Brian Griffin : Brian, did you know this couch was here? It's so comfortable!

  Peter Griffin : Hey, Lois! Look how short Stewie is.

  [laughs] 

  Peter Griffin : He's so short.

  Lois Griffin : Oh, my God! He IS short.

  [both laugh hysterically] 

  Lois Griffin : Hey. Hey, Brian. He's knocking on the back door. What should I do?

  Brian Griffin : What?

  Lois Griffin : He's knocking on the back door. Should I let him in? I'm a-scared!

  Stewie Griffin : Well, uh, you two are busy being nude. So, uh, we'll just head out and, uh, let you be nude.

  Peter Griffin : Who were those guys?

  Lois Griffin : I don't know.

  Glen Quagmire : Room for one more? Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee!

• Lois Griffin : You know, it would be fun to write some new songs.

  Stewie Griffin : You know what else is fun? Watching "Mr. Belvedere" without people talking so loud.

  Lois Griffin : So I was thinking we could...

  Stewie Griffin : [loudly singing]  STREAKS ON THE CHINA NEVER MATTERED BEFORE! WHO CARED! WHEN YOU DROP-KICKED YOUR JACKET, WHEN YOU CAME THROUGH THE DOOR, NO ONE GLARED!

• Stewie Griffin : [sighs]  Trying to watch "Mr. Belvedere".

  Chris Griffin : So, my advice to the two of you would be...

  Stewie Griffin : [loudly singing]  ACCORDING TO OUR NEW ARRIVAL, LIFE IS MORE THAN MERE SURVIVAL. AND WE JUST MIGHT LIVE THE GOOD LIFE YET. DUN-DA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-DUN-DA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-DA-NA-NA-DA!

• Peter Griffin : I can't believe we lost the talent show. I wonder where we went wrong?

  Chris Griffin : I think I can shed some light on that. You guys were so baked you didn't sound anywhere near as good as you thought you did. I was in the audience.

  Lois Griffin : And here we thought the weed was inspiring us.

  Chris Griffin : Well, that's a common misconception, Mom and Dad, but the fact is the chief ingredient in marijuana is THC - a mild form of acid, prolonged usage of which can cause adverse effects to your sexual potency, short-term memory loss and can also severely damage your brain tissue, central nervous system and basic motor skills. To put it simply, Mom and Dad, there's a reason they call it "dope".

• Stewie Griffin : I feel more delirious than my cousin Stewie Cruise.

  Stewie Griffin : [Jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch]  I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm not gay! Go see my new movie! I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm not gay!

• Meg Griffin : What are you doing here, Brian? Still trying to smear my boss?

  Brian Griffin : No, no, no. I-I actually came to my senses and realized I was out of line Uh... I'm just here to apologize.

  Stewie Griffin : [Brian smacks him]  Oh, and, uh...

  [grimacing] 

  Stewie Griffin : You're so pretty. You're always pretty.

  Meg Griffin : Oh... you guys are so sweet.

  [giving him a sisterly kiss] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, well, it's my pleasure.

  Meg Griffin : Hey, can you guys hold on a sec? I gotta get this to Helen in Accounting.

  Stewie Griffin : Okay, bye.

  [as she leaves, he throws up into potted plant in the corner] 

• Brian Griffin : Thank you for coming, Deep Throat.

  Kermit the Frog : You'll understand if I don't come out from the shadows. My identity will be safest if you never see my face.

  Brian Griffin : Uh... okay.

  Kermit the Frog : Mayor West hasn't slept at home for three nights.

  Brian Griffin : Kermit the Frog?

  Kermit the Frog : [gasping in fear]  Somebody talked! No one is safe! I'm getting out of here! AHHH!

  [he flees, flailing his arms in the air] 

  Stewie Griffin : What's his appeal?

• Stewie Griffin : Somebody's coming in. Oh, it's just some fat hooker.

  [seeing it's Meg] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, my god, it's Meg!

  Brian Griffin : What?

  Stewie Griffin : Meg and Adam West! EWWW!

  [as he jumps onto the bed, a bleating sheep is heard] 

  Stewie Griffin : [jumping off]  Oh, sorry, sorry.