Salute Your Shorts (TV Series)
Brownies for Thud Mackie (1991)
Erik MacArthur: Michael Stein
Quotes
-
Bobby Budnick : Look, are you trying to beg your mom and daddy to send brownies so Thud Mackie doesn't tap dance on your windpipe?
Michael Stein : Yeah. So?
Bobby Budnick : Do your parents ever cheat on their taxes?
Michael Stein : No.
Bobby Budnick : Did they ever sneak in the back door of a movie theater?
Michael Stein : No.
Bobby Budnick : All right, then they're never gonna send you brownies. Look, they know the rules, and this movie - forget it.
Michael Stein : So what do you suggest I do?
Bobby Budnick : All right. Rule number one: Never lie to your parents.
Michael Stein : What?
Bobby Budnick : You lie to your GRANDparents.
Michael Stein : Oh, get real. My grandparents?
Bobby Budnick : You wanna get those brownies? Send this video to your grandparents.
-
Michael Stein : [video voiceover] Camp brochure talks about international cuisine. It's true. We get exciting exciting foods from many lands. Mexican...
Dina Alexander : [slopping gruel from a tin bucket onto Telly's plate] Olé!
Michael Stein : French...
Dina Alexander : [slopping more gruel from the same bucket onto Sponge's plate] Oui-oui!
Michael Stein : ...and German.
Dina Alexander : [slopping gruel from the bucket onto Eddie's plate] Farfegnugen!
-
[Ug faces the possibly that he isn't a good counselor while Michael faces the prospect of going home]
Michael Stein : I'm goin' home? YES! I can sleep in my own bed and see all my friends?
Kevin 'Ug' Lee : No, you get to stay at your grandparents' and play bingo with 'em every night and go to the seniors' garden club, so... you'll be happy.
Michael Stein : [sighs] They eat dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Kevin 'Ug' Lee : I guess it's time to quit this job and find something I'm good at.
Michael Stein : They never salt anything EVER.
Kevin 'Ug' Lee : No one comes to my activities.
Michael Stein : And the furniture's in plastic.
Kevin 'Ug' Lee : The campers are unhappy: the Ug Era has ended.
[Both sit - right onto the keys of the piano]
-
Kevin 'Ug' Lee : So, I'm, uh, really not a bad counselor.
Michael Stein : Ug, we'll talk about that later. Uh, by the way, if a 74-yar-old ex-Marine comes looking for you - run!
-
Bobby Budnick : Hey, how many fingers am I holding up?
Michael Stein : How many fingers am *I* holding up.
-
Michael Stein : Ug? who'd did I just puke on?