R.I.P.D. (2013)
Ryan Reynolds: Nick
Photos
Quotes
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Roy Pulsipher : One of them coyotes, he made love to my skull. You know what that practice is commonly called?
Nick : I do... and I certainly hope he got both eyes, Roy.
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Nick : When exactly was your day?
Roy Pulsipher : 1800s, buddy. I'm what we used to call a lawman. Marshal Roysephus Pulsiper.
Nick : Roysephus?
Roy Pulsipher : It was considered a very sexy name at the time.
Nick : It sounds like an STD.
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Roy Pulsipher : The universe, in its ultimate wisdom, will not let you reveal yourself. It's smarter than us.
Nick : That's sick.
Roy Pulsipher : Consider it the universe's witness protection program.
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Nick : You frosty?
Roy Pulsipher : Icy hot, partner!
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Nick : Whatever's waiting for you on the other side is gonna be *bad.* But don't worry, it's only forever.
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[last lines]
Roy Pulsipher : I knew you weren't happy with Grandpa Chen, so I pulled a few strings, for you some new ID.
Nick : Thank you. Thank you, Roy. I mean that. This is great.
[looks in his new wallet]
Nick : Oh, you gotta be shitting me.
Roy Pulsipher : Ah, I did what I could. Inventory is what it is.
Nick : [looking in the wallet] You thought this was an improvement?
Nick's New Avatar : [Gets in the car and drives off]
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[R.I.P.D. headquarters exits out into a VCR repair shop in Boston]
Nick : You ever think about hiding this place a little better?
Roy Pulsipher : When was the last time you got a VCR repaired?
Nick : [eyeing the shop clerk] Point taken.
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Roy Pulsipher : Let's learn you a few things about Old West fighting! First,
[Roy shoots, erasing a deado]
Roy Pulsipher : Only a novice hides in a church steeple. It's the first place I'm gonna look. Second place, hotel window, every time.
[shoots again, but doesn't hit anything]
Nick : I guess there's only one novice in their crew.
[Nick and Roy both turn and fire, erasing a deado on a building roof]
Roy Pulsipher : Sometimes the window guy is on the roof.
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Nick : Relax body.
[Throws Roy into the path of a bus]
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[first lines]
Nick : You think *you've* had a bad day at work? I think I got you beat.
[big fat monster guy crashes through]
Nick : That's not me.
[Roy taking chase]
Nick : Nope, that's my partner.
Pulaski : Suck it!
Nick : There I am. Three or four days ago, I didn't know this world existed. But three or four days ago, I wasn't in the Rest In Peace Department...
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[repeated line]
Roy Pulsipher , Nick : [when in apparent mortal danger] Relax body!
