Masters of Horror (TV Series) The V Word (2006) User Reviews

From Good To Very Bad ...

[Vic_max · 4/10 · 22 November 2006]

This 1 hour episode starts out OK, but falls off in the second half.

Initially, there's a kind of creepy buildup during which a couple of teens go to a funeral home for amusement. The first 30 minutes are actually pretty good and are all about ambiance. It is pretty difficult to maintain a suspenseful and creepy tone, so the director really succeeded here.

However, the downfall of the movie comes when the first laughably ridiculous decision is made: when a terrible thing occurs in front of one of the main characters, he just turns around and stands there thinking about what to do. By the way, he happens to be holding a phone. Do you know anyone who would do that? It's all downhill from there - the story never recovers and becomes very bland after such a good buildup.

This one is worth skipping.

Atmospheric for the first half

[ctomvelu-1 · 6/10 · 14 June 2008]

THE V WORD sees two teens breaking into a funeral home to get a look at a bully who has died. They get far more than they bargained for, as there is a vampire inhabiting the funeral home and he is perpetually thirsty. Michael Ironside is the vampire, and his method of drinking blood is to tear a large gash in the victim's throat first. Plenty of nasty corpses on display, plenty of gashed throats, but the story loses steam in the second half. It got so boring, in fact, I turned it off before the grand finale. Throat slashing is always fun to watch, but too much of it tends to spoil the broth, as it were. And I hate to say it, but Ironside reminded me more of a ghoul than a vampire. Ghouls have never floated my boat.

Impressive and Insulting.

[slayer_of_the_jugga_phuk · 6/10 · 10 November 2006]

All right, I have just finished watching the first showing of "The V Word" on Showtime, and having done so I have a few things to say. "The V Word" is an episode about a new-breed of vampiric legend. While they do retain many of the traditional myths, they've adapted to a new ideal.

The concept for this episode is done in the best and worst of ways. While they captured the realistic nature of the idea of vampires, seeing as how rather than any psychical change they simply tear the throat of their victim out and drink the blood. Once they've had their throat removed, or at least most of it, they go through a seemingly agonizing transformation, and forever retain that physical would that never seems to heal over. It takes the idea and makes it somewhat believable, at least until the bad part comes into play.

And here is that bad theme.

While they've been created in this way to be believable, they seem to include some of the more silly stereotypes. These vampires do not have fangs, which makes sense, however, they burst into flames under the touch of sunlight, and it is implied that they are allergic to garlic, all though I don't think they made that official or not.

It's a good episode, and a very impressive concept... however, it is insulting the basic idea of a vampire, as well as fans of the sort.

However, this one does seem to have better acting than most, and it has the girl from Silent Hill in it, which amused me.

Overall... I'd give this episode a 6/10.

Ahhh, and it was so close to being a mediocre episode.

[Kevlar01 · 11 November 2006]

I find it interesting that the majority of peoples comments about this episode I've read state that the first part of the episode is better than the rest. This is interesting to me as I personally thought everything which occurs in Collinswood Mortuary was atrociously cheesy and just plain... well... stupid. The dialogue was garbage, some events which occurred just silly, and the visuals reminded me of the cinematography in VERY forgettable horror flicks such as Feardotcom and Stay Alive. Sure everything that happens after the mortuary is basically recycled themes and clichés from other vampire movies but it was definitely more entertaining than the events occurring at the beginning. Withoug spoiling anything I'll point out some vague descriptions of the episodes highlights.

While the first half is corny and dull, the second half offers a few scenes of vicious gore effects which look very cool, a rather humorous phone call to the police by our hero, and a disturbing yet mildly satisfying revenge scene. Also, the large-black-pupils eye contacts on our vampires looked creepy and cool. Other than this I found myself frowning for the majority of the episode. As much as I was trying to find enjoyment throughout, there was very little that actually peeked my interest for the most part. Still, something about it did seem to work... although I cant for the life of me figure out what it was. But whatever this aspect was, which I think was just the overall mood perhaps, its pretty much the only thing Dickerson presents successfully. Everything else is just pretty much lame.

I actually only give this episode a 4.5 so me rounding it up to a 5 for IMDb is actually an act of extremely generosity on my part. Basically the whole thing just falls short of being mediocre, which is a shame because aspects of the episode felt like there was so much potential hidden in the layers of disappointing material. So this is officially my least favorite episode of Season 2, and my third least favorite overall (following the horrendous Dance Of The Dead and the extremely mediocre Incident On And Off A Mountain Road). While I'm sure there will be at least another one, possibly two, crap episodes to come as this season progresses... I hope to god they're not as bad as The V Word.

Oh well... nice try I guess.

The worst episode of the series

[timhayes-1 · 3/10 · 15 November 2006]

The second season of Masters is going downhill quick. After a strong start, John Landis started the downward slide with the hohum "Family" and it keeps on going with Ernest Dickerson's "The V Word". for starters, the v word of the title is for vampire. Strike one. The vampire subgenre is so overused that its just become blase. The story is pretty boring too. Two friends break into a morgue and accidentally unleash a vampire, becoming night walkers as well in the process. The best thing about this episode is Michael Ironside. He is one mean mofo. Its too bad that he's underused in the episode. There are some great scenes of atmosphere, but alone they are not enough to save another episode from getting weighed down by itself. Here's hoping the season takes a turn for the better since John Carpenter is coming up with his take.

Absolutely pathetic

[nickcarr · 1/10 · 17 December 2006]

I have a feeling that strict horror fans are the ones writing positive reviews of the Masters of Horror episodes, as they have been mostly abysmal thus far. This episode in particular is particularly awful - the first half absolutely does not make use of its creepy setting. The reasons for why the kids go there is questionable, and the backstory surrounding the protagonist and his father is absolutely idiotic. Halfway through, the episode completely shifts gears and turns into a vampire story, and gets even more ridiculous when the revelation is made about who the head vampire is. The show practically caves in on itself by the time the end credits roll. What a waste of time. Avoid like the plague.

A Story About a Vampire and a Morgue

[gavin6942 · 5/10 · 23 January 2007]

Two video game loving young men decide to break into a mortuary in the middle of the night, only to discover the attendant with his throat ripped out and blood everywhere. Oh, and a vampire, too! After one of the two is killed by the vampire, how will the other defeat him? Or will he? This episode comes from director Ernest Dickerson ("Bones") and writer Mick Garris ("Chocolate"), two people who are not really "masters of horror" in the eyes of the mainstream. And choosing vampires as your plot is really nothing new or creative (and they don't take it in any new directions).

Now, the movie has the point of view of a vampire, or someone turning into a vampire, who does not wish to become fully undead. I'm pretty sure this has been covered in the past in other films, but an interesting story just the same. Vampires are typically seen as evil or (at best) misunderstood, but rarely do we see vampires who didn't want to be vampires. How far will they go to rid themselves of the vampiric cravings? Others have said they enjoyed the police 911 calls, and sure, they're alright. I didn't think they were amazing, and quite frankly it was unclear to me if they really happened or if he was imagining making the calls. The movie in general really wasn't that funny. It had some okay references ("Doom 3" and naming the vampire Chaney after Lon Chaney) but it was still weak.

The vampire was played by Michael Ironside, who is like the poor man's Jack Nicholson. He did a fine job. Nothing much more I can say... well, except I also liked the black contact lenses. Nice touch.

This episode was alright, but again nothing special. Season two is just not what season one was. Up through episode five, I saw one episode I liked (John Landis' "Family"), so that's not a good sign when I have only 8 more to go. Maybe you're be more generous and forgiving, but if this is a trend, season three will be a nightmare.

a quiz for the geeks

[trashgang · 7/10 · 10 June 2013]

This episode written by the creator of Masters Of Horror Mick Garris isn't that bad at all. Sure, you have seen it a thousand times before but I enjoyed it somehow being a geek in the genre because there's more to spot then only the story itself.

You can write the story in a few lines. Two youngsters, black and white are playing horror games, Doom 3, on their Xbox. When one is killed they want to go a step further. Let's visit a morgue, that would be more scarier then playing a game. Off they go but once at the morgue the horror comes in. One of the dead people laying there is undead. He's a cross between a vampire and a zombie. He does suck blood so it could be a vampire but he doesn't suck, he tears the neck in pieces before drinking the blood. But I guess the title refers to V from vampire.

As simple as the story is it is rather a quiz to watch for the geeks. When one of the youngsters is saying They're coming to get you, Barbara! I jumped up and screamed, Night Of The Living Dead (1968). But not only that. We do have a few screen shots from Dracula (1931). Here again that was easy, Bela Lugosi and the flick itself. And I moved on, there were much more references to other stories involving feeling guilty (An American Werewolf In London (1981)) about the fact your best friend is being bitten, or trusting on friendship (Black Sabbath (1963)) when the black guy asks to enter his best friend's home once being changed into a vampire. Not only that, the score itself sounded very eighties and I did here notes referring to Halloween (1978) and The Thing (1982).

But for the normal people watching this episode it is very simple with some extreme shots once the neck is being bleeding as hell. It will be for some a bit too gory. But the dark humour added, again a reference to An American Werewolf In London, when the black guy is drinking water makes it the more watchable.

Michael Ironside plays the old vampire. I didn't like it the way he did it because he reminded me too much of a zombie. What I did like was the way they showed the POV from the infected. But at the end of the day, it's a very simple tale with a classic ending but it did work.

Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 3/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 0,5/5

1-Hour Video game Commercial Disguised As MoH Episode

[Witchfinder-General-666 · 2/10 · 14 October 2007]

Generally speaking, I am a huge fan of the great "Masters Of Horror" series, but one has to say that the individual episodes differ immensely in quality. While some episodes, such as Dario Argento's "Pelts" or Takashi Miike's "Imprint" are utterly brilliant, some other episodes are pure entertainment, and some episodes, such as Mick Garris' "Chocolate" or Tobe Hooper's "Dance Of The Dead" were, as far as I am considered quite disappointing. "The V-Word" directed by Ernest K. Dickerson (I wonder what qualifies him as a 'Master Of Horror' anyway), however, is by far the worst episode of this otherwise great Horror anthology. Not only is the story ridiculous and the suspense almost nonexistent, even worse, this quite poor attempt of an MoH episode was so obviously made to advertise a Video game, which the main protagonists not only play all the time, but about which everybody talks about throughout the episode. The performances are also quite poor, the only true reason not to skip this episode is the great Michael Ironside, who at least gives this thing a little bit of eeriness.

I won't bother to describe the plot, since it it so thin that even a short description would mean writing a spoiler. "The V-Word" is watchable for Michael Ironside, but otherwise it's a waste of time. Watch ANY other MoH-episode before giving this a try.

Decent Masters of Horror episode.

[poolandrews · 6/10 · 17 May 2007]

Masters of Horror: The V Word starts late one night in the American town of Collingswood as Justin (Branden Nadon) convinces his best friend Kerry (Arjay Smith) that it would be fun to drop in on his cousin James who works at a funeral home & look at a 'real' dead body, hell that sounds like a whole load of fun to me. Once there they break in & are shocked to discover James body, they are then brutally attacked by guy (Michael Ironside) who tears Kerry's throat out as Justin manages to escape through a window. Later that night Justin hears a knock on his front door & is surprised to see Kerry standing there covered in blood, Kerry dies in front of Justin & returns as a Vampire. Will their friendship be enough to save Justin from ending up with the same fate?

This Canadian American co-production was episode 3 from season 2 of the Masters of Horror TV series, directed by Ernest R. Dickerson this is an alright Masters of Horror episode but nothing overly special. The script by the show's regular producer Mick Garris is the first time this show tackled the overused theme of Vampirism, it starts off quite promisingly but soon descends in a sickly sentimental drama about two friends & their unusual relationship a bit like The Lost Boys (1987) only not as good. I must admit I liked the way Michael Ironside portrayed the initial Vampire as some faceless, brutal, primitive killer with no emotion or regard for mind games but during the second half of The V Word drops this initial impression of him & goes into standard villain mode complete with bad dialogue. I didn't like how the two main teenage leads were written & the way they're character's developed either, do people really call each other 'dudes' these days? At 60 odd minutes this feels strangely boring at times & a tad dull as well, it just doesn't have much pace & the lacklustre storytelling doesn't help matters. This is alright I suppose but overall it's a touch forgettable.

Director Dickerson does OK, I think a lot of it's a little dark at times & it's not scary or exciting either. There are a few homages to other Vampire & horror films including the original Dracula (1931), Salem's Lot (1979) & Night of the Living dead (1968). There are a few good moments though mostly courtesy of some more top notch special make-up effects by the boys at KNB effects, there are a couple of torn out blood spurting throats, someone has their eyes punctured with a needle, a bloody leg, a scene when Kerry tries to drink some water after he had been bitten & the water literally pour out of his ripped open throat & a gory decapitation by medical saw.

Technically this is well made with good production values although it's a little flat & bland to look at without much in the way of style. The acting is alright, I never really cared for anyone to be honest & it totally wastes the fantastic Michael Ironside.

The V Word is a perfectly watchable 60 odd minutes with some good gore but there wasn't much here that stood out, I don't know but while this isn't the worst Masters of Horror episode it's certainly not the best either. Still worth a watch especially if your a fan of the series or horror in general.

mediocre vampires

[wackassnucca · 5/10 · 20 November 2006]

Another stinker. Not that bad though. This is the V word, the story of vampires in a small town. Its not original at all very similar to fight night or Salem's lot, just put in a modern setting. It's pretty generic and doesn't seems to have the master's touch that this series usually has. The episode centers around two teens. One of them has divorced parents and the other is often teased by his brothers. What do the kids do to cope with their angst? Go check out a dead dude. So they venture of to the mortuary where they wander around in the for what seems like forever. This is where the director desperately tries to build tension for some kind of quick scare that'll make you jump and go "whoa i'm really scared right now!" This doesn't happen. long after you get sick of their aimless wander a vampire gets up really slowly and saunters around looking real spooky. When he bites the dude's neck it's pretty cool but that's about it. Micheal Ironside is pretty good vampire but its really nothing special.

5.1 ? This was a nice Episode

[BloodyPredator2 · 8/10 · 14 May 2020]

Why the Low rating ? This Episode was absolutely enjoyable ,It has some nice atmospheric scenes and a cool Score plus there are some really good Gore Scenes. Director Ernest Dickerson made some great Movies in the past especially Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, which is one of the best 90s Horror Movies in my Opinion. Overall a pretty good Masters of Horror Episode with Vampires. 8/10

It's OK

[preppy-3 · 6/10 · 11 November 2006]

Two teenagers (Brandon Nadon and Arjay Smith) go to a funeral home one night to visit a cousin. They find the place completely deserted and dark...but then things start rearranging themselves, they discover blood on the floor...and one of the bodies starts moving...

That's all good--but that's only the first half hour. It then turns into a strange and bloody vampirish story. Supposedly they need blood to live...but have no fangs. Also their wounds never heal. And sunlight can kill them. And they can see themselves in mirrors. This movie plays fast and loose with the vampire legend. After a while I wasn't sure WHAT they could do! It's also never explained how they became this way. It's saved by good direction and likable performances by Smith and especially Nardon--but it gets confused and dreary. Not terrible but I was wondering WHAT the point was.

Master of Mundane

[Coventry · 2/10 · 12 September 2010]

Two teenagers break into a sinister and remote funeral parlor because they're bored with playing videogames and because they dared each other to. Hey wow, teenagers still do that sort of stuff? I thought it was a typically dumb act to do for teenagers back in the 1980's, but not in this modern day and age? I can list a dozen of cheesy and inferior old films with that exact same premise, and they were kind of fun and charming, but I never suspected a relatively acclaimed TV-format like "Masters of Horror" would recycle this ancient horror given. "The V- Word" (V standing for vampire, or at least I'm presuming so) is easily the most mediocre installment of the two seasons combined. Not only the plot is extremely mundane, but also Ernest Dickerson's direction is pedestrian, the acting performances are weak and the gore-effects are not at all remarkable. There's a total lack of humor in this episode and even the always reliable Michael Ironside cannot safe the film from utter boredom. He plays a vampire with the intention of "recruiting" the two young boys as children of the night. The only difference between these vampires and good old Bela Lugosi on TV is that eating habits are a lot messier. Bela only left two discrete biting marks whereas these vampires literally tear the necks of their victims wide open. The violence is explicit and nasty, pretty much similar like the "Doom" videogames that the two protagonists are obsessed with, but it's thoroughly unexciting. In fact, the only true positive words I can write in favor of "The V-Word" are all intended for Lynda Boyd. She plays the mother of one of the teenagers and her role is relatively small, but she's one mighty fine looking MILF!

Decent

[Michael_Elliott · 2 March 2008]

"V" Word, The (2006)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Ernest Dickerson directs this third entry of season 2 from Masters of Horror. Two teens go to a funeral home to see the dead body of a guy who use to pick on them but they get more than they bargained for when a vampire shows up. As with other episodes, this one here contains a lot of gore, which will please horror fans but the first half also offers some great atmosphere. The opening takes place inside the funeral home and the director is able to use it to great effect. However, once the vampire stuff kicks in the film gets rather lazy and it really doesn't offer us anything we haven't seen before. The performances are good and the music score is also nice. There's a couple nice homages to Bela Lugosi and other horror films.

A waste of time

[juliusdownes · 2/10 · 29 October 2011]

I've been dipping into the Masters of Horror series and watching those whose synopsis seems particularly interesting. Unfortunately, this has not only been the worst episode I've seen of the series but one of the worst pieces of fiction I have encountered for some time.

The first half of the episode was slow and uninteresting, the second half was stupid and boring. The motivation for visiting the funeral home makes no real sense, all the time spent highlighting the video game element of the story was not required and served no purpose. The characters were so thin and pointless I didn't care about any of them anyway.

I won't analyse it any further as it's just not worth the time. I would not recommend this to anyone, it gives nothing.

MASTERS OF HORROR: THE V WORD (Ernest R. Dickerson, 2006; TV) **

[Bunuel1976 · 4/10 · 23 January 2010]

Another less-than-enthusing entry in this erratic series concerns one of the most abused subjects in horror-film history i.e. vampirism – and, yet, it has rarely been dealt with such a visceral (and frankly off-putting) approach. The blood flows in bucketfuls here and rather than bite its victims, the creature tears open their throat like a werewolf or a latter-day zombie would! The chief vampire is played by Michael Ironside (as Mr. Chaney!) in full Jack (THE SHINING) Nicholson mode, while his victims/successors are your typical teens: one white and one black, obsessed with carnage-happy video games but who cringe in the face of real death – so they dare one another to enter a morgue at night and take a good look at the latest 'intern'…and that is where their troubles begin. Their reactions, however, are different: while the black boy seems resigned to have joined the ranks of the undead (culminating in a predictable coda, down to the ironic closing line, as he sets out to 'infect' The Big Apple), the other resists – especially after Ironside kidnaps his kid sister to be the blood donor in his initiation! – and commits suicide, awaiting the dawn tied to a cross, in a show-stopping finale. Along the way, the film references NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968; a quotation of the famous line "They're coming to get you, Barbara!"), AN American WEREWOLF IN London (1981; the white kid who escapes the initial attack feels remorse for having abandoned his pal to his fate), BLACK SABBATH (1963; the black kid appears at the other's home claiming to be all right and pleading with his friend to let him in) – and, for good measure, we get various snippets from the Browning/Lugosi Dracula (1931) conveniently showing on TV!

It was OK, sort of slow

[kdhbi42 · 5/10 · 3 January 2015]

This was somewhat boring considering it was about the V word. The end result felt more like an anti-drug after school special, not that drugs were involved in this episode. It felt like it could have been cut down to 30 minutes or a 10-15 minute skit and the pace was annoyingly slow, probably to show dramatic emphasis. Not to mention whoever wrote this episode has never played a video game in his/her life. Whenever the two main characters talk about games they sound like a 60 year old non-gamer trying to figure out why people play in the first place. At least Doom 3 didn't have Pac-man sound effects, but still most people would prefer to play it on the PC with a keyboard and mouse. Chalk it up to artistic license I guess.

Wasn't Too Bad...

[dbluvscuteguys14 · 7/10 · 14 December 2006]

The third episode of the second season of my favorite series, Masters of Horror, was not a disappointment to me at all. I thought there could have been better acting, but you can't expect the best out of just anyone. The plot was a good one and Branden Nadon and Arjay Smith (as newcomers) delivered well; well enough to even scare me a little bit. To me this episode was the best one so far of the series (of course after watching episodes thereafter: Sounds Like, Pro-Life, Pelts)all of which didn't make a lick of sense to me. There was gore but that's not all Horror is about. Gore isn't scary, sneaking around in a dark room looking for a light switch and not knowing what's around the corner is scary; The V Word had its gore but it also had its shock moments. If you want to watch a good episode of Season 2, The V Word is the one to watch.

The V stands for ghouls

[Bored_Dragon · 7/10 · 1 May 2018]

This episode has a low ratings and is predominantly bashed in reviews, but I like it. I like that it refuses to blindly hold onto the vampire mythos and, unlike most of the vampire films and series that romanticize them, this film presents them in a completely different light, more realistic and more convincing. If the vampires really existed, I believe that they would be much closer to this view than any other I had the opportunity to see before. The story is more or less a classic horror cliché, but the acting and directing are excellent and the atmosphere in the first part of the film is very dark and tense. In the second part, tense anticipation is replaced by explicit horror scenes, well-measured to achieve a horror effect, but to avoid sliding from the domain of a terrifying into plain stupid. If they were able to keep it straight to the very end, this would be a top-notch episode, but unfortunately they slipped and made a couple of unforgivable mistakes. Although the vampires in this film, apart from the fact that they are living dead, do not feature supernatural qualities - there is no superhuman strength and speed, no fangs or immediate recovery from injuries, they are not beautiful and seductive, and with their appearance and the way they feed they more resemble ghouls than the vampires we are accustomed to - the allergy to garlic and spontaneous combustion in the sunlight do not fit into this picture and irreversibly destroy the credibility of the story. And there is also the end that resolves the situation in a way that is more appropriate or a drama than a horror. However, the overall impression is positive and I think that this episode is worth a look.

7/10

Humdrum "Masters" of Horror Vehicle

[BaronBl00d · 4/10 · 21 November 2010]

Why is Ernest Dickerson a Master of Horror? Because he directed Surviving the Game and Demon Knight? Hmmm. Definitely not one of the better moments of the series, yet not a total waste of time nor talent. Two youths, bored and one in particular having issues with the break-up of his family, decide to visit a morgue at night for laughs. Laughs is not what they find but rather vampires. Both get bitten eventually, and what we have here is a story about vampirism from the bitten's perspective. Been there - seen it before. The first fifteen minutes or so are very creepy and eerie. Dickerson, despite my sarcasm, has talent, but the story completely falls apart toward the middle and I couldn't even find it by the end. The acting is all acceptable. Yes, Michael Ironsides is in it. Yes, he looks very creepy. He also is given very little to do. Truth be told: I was very disappointed with this episode.

Creepy and Disturbing almost like a Phantasm spin-off

[Overtheredskies · 8/10 · 28 December 2019]

I remember seeing this for the first time back around maybe 06 or 07? and I was probably 8 years old, it came on HBO or Starz maybe, but yeah I was creeped out big time and it stuck with me since. Still holds up today 10+ years later... Plus the acting is good for a tv short. Could use an extra 25 minutes for a full film! This was better than half the movies put out during 2005-2006 (Excluding The Hills Have Eyes Remake) But I haven't really watched any other episodes in this series.

TV teen vampire An American Werewolf in London version

[Fernando-Rodrigues · 6/10 · 21 November 2020]

This is really cliché, but somehow fun. Stupid teens are invading a funeral home, a reluctant vampire, and all the Draculesque stereotypes.

A Movie of 2 Halves

[ShadowsBeneathTheLight · 5/10 · 18 August 2022]

I enjoyed the first half of this episode. It had a good set up and pacing, as well as created an eerie haunted house. But when they leave the haunted house halfway trough, the movie changes direction and just falls flat. I went from being hooked to madingly bored and confused. Should've stuck with the haunted house the whole way through.

One of the worst of the series

[GoldenGooner04 · 6/10 · 5 July 2022]

But Michael Ironside is having a ball, he is enjoying this, So over the top it's about Vampires don't you know, he is really having a "bloody good time" other then these 10 mins its rather BORING.