Family Guy (TV Series)

Bango Was His Name Oh! (2006)

Mila Kunis: Meg Griffin

Quotes 

• Meg Griffin : [Peter uses the new TiVo]  Dad, what are you doing?

  Peter Griffin : Oh, I'm fast-forwarding through these pesky TV shows so I can get to the commercials.

  Wilford Brimley : Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley, and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day, I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago, I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. And then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

• Meg Griffin : [catching Peter and Lois in the middle of a romantic tryst]  Oh, my God!

  Chris Griffin : I don't know what they're fighting about, but I think Dad's winning. Go, Dad!

• Peter Griffin : Kids, your mother and I have decided that we're gonna help you two get out in the dating world.

  Lois Griffin : That's right. Chris, I'm gonna show you how to be an affable, desirable young man who doesn't smell like the inside of a wool hat.

  Chris Griffin : Why you gotta break balls?

  Peter Griffin : And, Meg, when I get through with you, you're gonna be beating guys off with both hands.

  Meg Griffin : This is gonna be so fun.

  Peter Griffin : Hey! Zip it. Rule number one: no speaky until the man speaky to you.

• Peter Griffin : Okay, Meg, lesson one for attracting a man: I want you to shave my back.

  Meg Griffin : Ew! Why would I want to do that?

  Peter Griffin : Trust me, Meg. Shave a man's back for him and he'll purr like a walrus.

• Meg Griffin : [in the car with Peter]  Dad, why are we just sitting here?

  Peter Griffin : Just give me a minute, Meg.

  Meg Griffin : What am I supposed to be learning about dating from...

  [he sighs in satisfaction] 

  Meg Griffin : Oh, my, God, Dad, you farted! That is so nasty!

  Peter Griffin : [she tries to get out]  No, no, no, Meg. Meg, this is crucial, all right? The sexiest thing a woman can do for a man is learn to love his gas. Love the gas, Meg. Love it!

  [he accidentally farts again, and she tries to get out] 

  Peter Griffin : No, no, no, Meg, no, no. This is why we're here. This is why we're here. This is why we're here.