- Patrick: I invented something! It's a stick that you can draw or write stuff with.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a pencil, Patrick. It's already been invented.
- Patrick: Ooh! this time I really have something. A glass ball that lights up so you can see in the dark.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a light bulb, Patrick. It's already been invented.
- Patrick: This is a good one! I've invented a parallel dimension.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That's a mirror, Patrick. It's already been invented.
- Patrick: Someone keeps stealing my ideas!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [In mirror, speaking with German accent] Well, I thought it was a good idea.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: My name is SpongeBob.
- Patrick: And I am Professor Patrick.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Professor?
- Patrick: *Doctor* Professor Patrick. Don't mind him. You know how interns are.
- Lord Reginald: Oh, marvelous! This machine has cleared my nostrils of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: This helmet looks impressive. What's it do?
- Sandy Cheeks: That's my peanut radio helmet. It lets you talk to peanuts. But what good is that?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [Takes a peanut out of his pocket] SpongeBob to peanut. Come in, peanut.
- Patrick: What's it saying?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: It says, "It's dark in here."