- SpongeBob SquarePants: I've never seen so many mattresses in one place!
- Patrick Star: I know.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: How many do you think their are?
- Patrick Star: [long pause] Ten.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [Cross-examining a mop] So, it was you who made the floor slippery, wasn't it? Answer the question! Need I remind you, sir, that you are under oath?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Defense calls Mr. Squidward to the stand.
- Mr. Krabs: Ah, Squidward. A loyal employee.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Mr... Tentacles, is it? My client has been called cheap. Do you agree with this ludicrous statement?
- Squidward: Yes.
- Mr. Krabs: What?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Let me rephrase the question. Can you recall an instance of Mr. Krabs' generosity in any way?
- Squidward: Nope. Can I go now? My first day off in three years and I have to spend it testifying?
- Squidward: Okay, here's the plan. You two sneak in there, remove the mattress from underneath the guard worm, without waking the worm.
- Patrick Star: Why not?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Because that would be rude, Patrick.
- Plankton: But the worst part is, that my dreams of running a marathon like I promised my dear old Grammy have been dashed. I'm sorry, Gram-Gram! I'm sorry!
- [Jury starts sobbing]
- Plankton: Thank you for your kind attention.
- [to himself]
- Plankton: ... suckers.
- Judge: Does the defendant have an opening statement?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes, Your Honor. Poor Gram-Gram!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [in a mattress store] Wow, look at all these mattresses! How many do you think here are?
- Patrick: [looks around the store] Ten.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Cool.