- Aku: Here's the truest tale of all: there was an all-mighty, all-powerful wizard and there was a pathetic little samurai and the wizard destroyed him! THE END!
- [vanishes]
- Aku: Tales of the Samurai's heroics have spread through the world like a virus. But I will cure the world of this plague of hope.
- Aku: Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl, with a red riding cape and GREAT FLAAAAMING EYEBROWS!
- [after Aku tells a very detailed story about how he is a hero and Jack is evil, the children surrounding him are mystified]
- Aku: Hmm... Perhaps my story is too complex for these young minds. A story of the purest simplicity must be told.
- [a book of fairy tales is lowered down to him]
- Aku: Yes, fairy tales are simple, but the heroes within are legendary.
- [Having become frustrated with telling fairy tales that go nowhere, Aku snaps at the children angrily]
- Aku: Here is the truest tale of all! There was an almighty, all-powerful wizard and there was a pathetic little samurai, and the wizard destroyed him! THE END!
- Samurai Jack: [Jack is now the villain in the story of "The Three Little Pigs"] Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in!
- The Three Little Pigs: Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chins!
- Samurai Jack: Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, AND I'M COMIN' IN!