Comedy Central Presents (TV Series)

Jeff Dunham (2003)

Jeff Dunham: Self, Melvin the Superhero Guy, Peanut, José Jalapeño on a Stick, Walter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Walter : I hate this frickin' job!

  Jeff Dunham : Why's that?

  Walter : [referring to Peanut]  Making me go after that purple idiot! He's like a Muppet on crack.

  [referring to José Jalapeño] 

  Walter : Him and that Filipino on a stick.

  Jeff Dunham : Actually, he's a *jalapeño*! He's a jalapeño!

  Walter : Filipino, jalapeño, just put him on a stick and get him the hell out!

• Jeff Dunham : Where did you get the suit?

  Melvin the Superhero Guy : Online auction.

  [audience laughs] 

  Melvin the Superhero Guy : Shut up! I defeated the highest bidder!

• Jeff Dunham : Are you ready?

  José Jalapeño : I'm ready, señor.

  Peanut : Now most people don't know but tell them what you are.

  José Jalapeño : I'm the jalapeño on a stick!

  Jeff Dunham : What's your name?

  José Jalapeño : My name José.

  Peanut : José what?

  José Jalapeño : José Jalapeño.

  Jeff Dunham : Oh.

  José Jalapeño : On a Stick!

  Peanut : And you're Mexican?

  José Jalapeño : No, señor. Mexicans are from Mexico. I'm Puerto Rican.

  Jeff Dunham : Oh.

  José Jalapeño : I'm from New York City.

• Jeff Dunham : Look, Peanut, you're just going to have to be nicer to José.

  Peanut : Okay, José, ¿Como esta usted?

  José Jalapeño : ¡Muy bien!

  Peanut : ¿Poner a tú hablé?

  José Jalapeño : Oh, sí, ¡Bueno!

  Jeff Dunham : Peanut, what are you doing?

  Peanut : I'm speaking to José in his native tongue?

  Jeff Dunham : Could you not do that?

  Peanut : Why not?

  Jeff Dunham : Well, it makes me feel... left out.

  Peanut : Huh?

  Jeff Dunham : Well, I don't speak Spanish.

  [both Peanut and José look at Jeff] 

  José Jalapeño : You are a sick person, Señor.

  Peanut : You're a sick guy!

  José Jalapeño : On a stick!