How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Ted Mosby, Architect (2006)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney : Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot. Think about it, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God.

  Ted : I love it when you quote Scripture.

• Barney : I'm telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies...

  Ted : First of all, I have a girlfriend. Second, the architect angle doesn't even work on her. And third, I can't imagine that working on anyone, ever.

  Barney : That's 'cause you're always like,

  [in a mopey, loser-ish voice] 

  Barney : 'Ted Mosby, architect'.

  [shrugs shoulders, makes dweeby face] 

  Barney : If it were me, I'd be like,

  [speaking in a confident, assertive voice] 

  Barney : Ted Mosby, architect.

  [points and pulls trigger on finger gun] 

  Barney : Anything sounds impressive when it's said with the right attitude.

  Marshall : [clears throat, confidently]  Marshall Erikson, recently dumped and heading to a lame party.

  [looks away to imaginary hot girls] 

  Marshall : Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies, please, take it easy. There's enough of me for everyone.

  [puts arms around two imaginary hot girls] 

  Marshall : Hi. Hello.

  [to Ted and Barney] 

  Marshall : All right. We're gonna take off.

  Barney : Wait up. I'll leave with you guys. Ted Mosby, architect. Trust me.

• Marshall : Well, all skyscrapers kinda look like a...

  Ted : Marshall, it's a seventy-eight story pink marble tower with a rounded top and two spherical entryways at the front.

  Marshall : Wow, so it's the whole package.

  Barney : Yeah, you did.

  [fist-bumps Marshall] 

  Marshall : Had to.

  Barney : Oh, dude, if they're selling condos you gotta get me in. And don't give me the shaft.

  Marshall : Yeah, you did.

  Barney : Had to.

  [they fist-bump again] 

  Ted : It's a travesty! It's gonna define the skyline of the city. If it was me, I could have designed something amazing. Instead, I'm spending twelve hours a day designing the cornices.

  Marshall : Yeah, you did.

  [holds out his fist for a bump] 

  Ted : That wasn't one.

• Ted : [Approaching a random girl at the bar]  Hey, just out of curiosity. If a guy told you he was an architect, what would you think of that?

  Anna : Are you kidding? Architects are hot. How do you think Mr. Brady scored a babe like Carol?

  Ted : Solid point.

• Ted : How was your day?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Good.

  [Walks away] 

  Ted : Wow, you're a great interviewer. Aren't you gonna ask how my day was?

  Robin Scherbatsky : No, I know how it was. It was awful.

  [Moves along] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ooh, you want to rent a movie tonight?

  Ted : You know, um... I listen to your work stories all the time.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah, but... and I don't want to be rude here, but my work stories are interesting. I'm a television news reporter.

  Lily Aldrin : [Cut to Robin and Lily talking at the chiropodist]  Robin!

  Robin Scherbatsky : What? I knew exactly what he was going to say. I was just helping him get there faster.

  Lily Aldrin : You should work at a suicide hotline.