How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Ted Mosby, Architect (2006)
Cobie Smulders: Robin Scherbatsky
Photos
Quotes
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Robin Scherbatsky : [after hearing Ted went to a club with a girl] Dancing? He went dancing with this girl? Okay, maybe this is a little bad. Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex.
Lily Aldrin : Did you grow up in that Footloose town?
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Robin Scherbatsky : Back to the sun rising over Ted and, uh... Oh, what tasteful way did you describe her?
Brad Morris : The girl with the smackable ass.
Robin Scherbatsky : Yes, that's the young lady.
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Robin Scherbatsky : Do you know how many times I could've cheated on him? Six... no, seven. And you know two of them, and they would surprise you.
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Barney : [In the apartment of the girl barney just hooked up with] Come on, let's go before she gets out of the shower.
Robin Scherbatsky : You're such a pig. You're not even going to say good-bye?
Barney : I'll have you know I composed a lovely form letter for use in just such an occasion. Just fill out her name and then...
[Thinks, trying to remember the girls name]
Barney : Something with a "A." A... A... I'll just put "resident."
[Hears the shower shut off]
Barney : Go, go, go, go!
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Robin Scherbatsky : [Outside nightclub] Excuse me. I'm looking for a couple guys who came in here earlier. One's about six-four, 210, sandy brown hair. And the other's a cheating bastard.
Bouncer : You're going to need to refresh my memory.
Lily Aldrin : Okay, fella. Baby knows how this game's played. How's a 20 help your memory?
[Hands him a 20 dollar bill]
Bouncer : Thanks, but seriously, it was crazy tonight. You really do need to refresh my memory.
Lily Aldrin : Oh, Then can I have the...?
[Tries to take her money back, but the bouncer pockets it]
Lily Aldrin : That's cool. You keep that.
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Robin Scherbatsky : You know this girl. Where does she live?
Bouncer : I'm not telling you that for less than 20 bucks.
Lily Aldrin : Well, I'm out of money.
Robin Scherbatsky : I'm cashed, too.
Bouncer : I'll take your purse.
Robin Scherbatsky : My purse?
Bouncer : Yeah, my girl likes clutches.
Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, fine.
[Takes everything out of her purse then hands it over]
Lily Aldrin : [to the bouncer] You should tell her that looks really good with a chocolate boot.
Robin Scherbatsky : Bitch is lucky I brought my small purse. No room for my gun. Here. Now where does the rodeo slut live?
Bouncer : The building with the green light, apartment 3-C.
Lily Aldrin : Oh, my God, Robin, are you going to kick this girl's ass?
Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah... And steal her purse.
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Ted : How was your day?
Robin Scherbatsky : Good.
[Walks away]
Ted : Wow, you're a great interviewer. Aren't you gonna ask how my day was?
Robin Scherbatsky : No, I know how it was. It was awful.
[Moves along]
Robin Scherbatsky : Ooh, you want to rent a movie tonight?
Ted : You know, um... I listen to your work stories all the time.
Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah, but... and I don't want to be rude here, but my work stories are interesting. I'm a television news reporter.
Lily Aldrin : [Cut to Robin and Lily talking at the chiropodist] Robin!
Robin Scherbatsky : What? I knew exactly what he was going to say. I was just helping him get there faster.
Lily Aldrin : You should work at a suicide hotline.
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Lily Aldrin : [after hearing Ted invited a girl from the bar to Marshall's law party] He asked her to a party. Oh, my God, are you okay?
Robin Scherbatsky : Okay? It's awesome. It's a win-win. Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talkie-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part.
Lily Aldrin : What is wrong with you? God, I feel like I'm teaching love as a second language here. Okay, you know how when he tells you boring work stories you're supposed to listen? Well, when he picks up some random girl at a bar, you're supposed to freak out.
Robin Scherbatsky : I'm not freaking out because in my mind, she's fat.
Paula : She's a kickboxing instructor. Her ass looks better than my face.
Robin Scherbatsky : All right, we'll swing by the party.