Psych (TV Series)
Cloudy... With a Chance of Murder (2007)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Judge, I argue that this tape should not be admissible.
Judge Horace Leland : On what grounds?
Shawn Spencer : Well, we're citing...unfair surprisery.
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Judge Horace Leland : [motions to Shawn] The point is, do you know this man?
Carlton Lassiter : I do.
Judge Horace Leland : And has he worked on cases for the department?
Carlton Lassiter : He has.
Shawn Spencer : There you have it.
Adam Hornstock : There you have it.
Judge Horace Leland : And was he helpful?
[pause]
Carlton Lassiter : Absolutely.
Shawn Spencer : [whispering, to the stenographer] Did he just say "absolutely" with a little half-smile? I'd like that printed out, please, I'm thinking of shellacking it on a nice piece of maple. Maybe a little decoupage.
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[at the law offices of Hornstock, Hornstock, Biederman, and Hornstock]
Shawn Spencer : Hornstock, I think you have the potential to be a fantastic lawyer. You just need confidence. After all, that is your name on the door. Now, come on!
Adam Hornstock : Oh no, no, no. None of those Hornstocks are me. The first one is my grandfather, he founded the firm. The next one's my father, then my brother.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Wow... a whole family of lawyers.
Adam Hornstock : Yeah, even my sister.
Shawn Spencer : Well, there you go. She didn't make the door.
Adam Hornstock : She's Biederman. It's her married name.
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Adam Hornstock : My firm doesn't really believe in...
Shawn Spencer : Winning?
Adam Hornstock : No.
Shawn Spencer : Mermaids?
Adam Hornstock : No.
Shawn Spencer : The Minotaur?
Adam Hornstock : Me.
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Adam Hornstock : Now can we please go before Jurekie gets back?
[Shawn sees Jurekie's wedding ring in a saucer]
Shawn Spencer : Carter Jurekie just left for a nooner with his mistress. We have at least two hours.
[Shawn sees a picture of Jurekie]
Shawn Spencer : Maybe an hour and a half.
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Shawn Spencer : Dad, they took my bike!
Henry Spencer : Tell it to the embassy.
Shawn Spencer : And I... I might not be able to get it out of the impound.
Henry Spencer : No? Then maybe it's time for you to consider a real mode of transportation, huh?
[beat]
Shawn Spencer : You will do anything you can to impose your will on me. You hated that bike. You have always hated that bike. And you've been especially hard-assed about it since I...
Henry Spencer : Since what, Shawn? Since you what? Since you had your accident, is that it? Is that where your old man crossed the line? Fine, I'll tell you what: I will back off. I'm gonna lay off, man. I'll tell you what you do: You take me off your call list when the ambulance picks you up and brings you in that door. All right? Fair.
[Henry turns away]
Henry Spencer : Get over yourself, kid. Or at least learn how to park.
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Shawn Spencer : You mean to tell me our whole lives you've never been to a single auction?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nope.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, watch this. It's very fun.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : How is it fun? You're bidding against the public for your own motorcycle. What happens if somebody outbids you?
Shawn Spencer : I've been practicing my paddle raise. It's very subtle.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Don't you watch the news?
Shawn Spencer : I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : The key piece of evidence was half-melted candlesticks. We need evidence. Where are our candlesticks, Shawn?
Shawn Spencer : Maybe you just jumped over them.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : What?
Shawn Spencer : Be nimble? Be quick? You're not going to give me anything for that?
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Shawn Spencer : [to Lassiter] Please tell me you're not one of those courtroom groupies that bounces from trial to trial. Wait a second...was that you at the Michael Jackson hearing with the sequined glove and the shirt that said "Please Free the Man in the Mirror"?
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Shawn Spencer : Hey, strong shag, strong tie, strong person.
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Shawn Spencer : Clouds don't kill people. People kill people.
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Shawn Spencer : The question is, why would Lassiter send a letter to the D.A.'s office?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Don't you ever watch "Law and Order"? They tend to work together sometimes.