- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Did I miss something?
- Officer Ziva David: Gibbs just found his fourth ex-wife.
- Josh Cooper: [Josh 1s planing to join the Corps, DiNozzo is trying to talk him out of it] They killed my dad! What would you do?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'd want justice. What you're looking for is revenge.
- Josh Cooper: That's right. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: See, that just leaves you with a bunch of toothless blind people.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: [as Gibbs approaches Abraham] What the hell is he doing?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What he always does.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: Four marriages. Negotiating's probably not his thing.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You'd be surprised.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: I have been so far.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: You're not hacking C.I.A.?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: No. No. No. No. Homeland Security. They post a redundant C.I.A. archive.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: All right my - my superiors aren't going to like this.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't tell them.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: [Chuckles] Smart and devious. That's a dangerous combination.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You forgot... charming.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [they just look at each other until-] I'm in.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: [walking towards McGee] No I didn't.
- [Abraham has been tricked into carrying a time bomb into a shopping center. The rest of the team and Col. Mann rush up to defuse it]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Thirty seconds...
- Officer Ziva David: Tony, Army knife.
- Abraham Moussalah: [oblivious, to McGee] What's your name?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What? Uh, Tim.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It means, "he who is about to wet his pants."
- [Ziva disarms the bomb with five seconds left. Everyone exhales]
- Abraham Moussalah: Why is he gonna wet his pants?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Probie, you got the woods. I got the far side.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [McGee hesitates] Uh.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Poison ivy, Boss. I just- I look at the stuff and I break out.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't look!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [as Ziva is disarming a bomb] I can see down your shirt right now.
- Officer Ziva David: I don't think your new girlfriend would like that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What are you talking about? I don- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Officer Ziva David: I'm talking about you and the fact that you no longer stare at every woman when they pass you by.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well I'm looking down your shirt right now.
- Officer Ziva David: See anything good?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, real good. But I'm not entirely sure it's worth dying...
- [Ziva cuts a wire]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [tense pause before finishing] over.
- Officer Ziva David: "Not worth dying over."
- [zips up her jacket]
- Officer Ziva David: I'll remember that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What if I said it was?
- Officer Ziva David: Now you'll never know.
- [McGee has poison ivy]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: When Gibbs told me to go check out the forest, I should have just told him...!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] Told me what, McGee?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [panicking] ... No!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [sarcastic] Well, that probably would have been a good idea.
- Abby Sciuto: [holding a cell phone retrieved from a terrorist's hideout] Remember the cell phone that was never used? Well, it was used. Only all the data was hard-erased.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: [confused] *Hard-erased*?
- Abby Sciuto: What part of "hard-erased" do you not understand?
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: All of it.
- Abby Sciuto: Well, then, you've come to the right place.
- [Ducky is "talking" with the body of Col. Cooper, killed by a bomb in a golf course sand trap]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Myself, I have trouble getting out of the sand. But I suppose it's because I don't practice enough. You know, I dig my feet in, I open the club face, but then I forget to follow through, and the ball only goes a couple of feet.
- [Gibbs and Col. Mann enter behind him]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Not nearly as far as you traveled, my friend.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: Is he talking to himself?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, the body.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: He was set to deploy tomorrow. At least he got to spend the last day with his son.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That's one way to look at it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Looks like you've made up your mind.
- Josh Cooper: Special Agent slash mind-reader.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well when you're good, you're good.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Better have a fatal disease, DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Josh's mom called, he's looking for payback. Wants to skip Princeton and join the Marines. I went to talk him out of it.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Did you?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know, Boss.
- Officer Ziva David: However this cell is operating, they found a way to do so without leaving a shred of evidence.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Other than the dead marine.
- [Gibbs walks away. DiNozzo whispers to Ziva]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Nice.
- Mamoun Sharif: Who am I talking to?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: [simultaneously] Me.
- [Abby summarizes the evidence, while McGee applies balm to his poison ivy. She finishes]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [smiling blissfully] You're right. Gibbs is definitely not going to like this. But right now, I don't care.
- [Sharif catches Abraham stealing a sandwich from his store]
- Mamoun Sharif: Hey! What did I tell you? The owner takes this out of my pocket! The next time I catch you, I'm calling the police! Out the back!
- [He hustles Abraham to the back door, but then stops him and gives him the sandwich back]
- Mamoun Sharif: So don't let me catch you.
- Abraham Moussalah: Thank you.
- [Abraham leaves. Sharif turns and sees Gibbs and Mann standing there]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It still comes out of your pocket, doesn't it?
- Mamoun Sharif: Yes, but where I was born it is a sin to turn away a hungry man.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [scratching himself] I have poison ivy, and it's killing me!
- Abby Sciuto: My secret remedy.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: What is it?
- Abby Sciuto: Carbonic acid. You just smear it on.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I am not going to put acid on my... boys!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Eighteen holes on a golf course.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: Yep. You want to divide them up?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Sure. We'll take the crime scene. You and your people can take the other seventeen.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: Do all your people talk to themselves?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't yours?
- [Ziva insists on trying to disarm the bomb before the E.O.D. squad arrives]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [following her] This has to be the stupidest thing any human being has ever done.
- Officer Ziva David: Then why are you following me, Tony?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't frickin' know!
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Well, the cause of death appears to be just what you see here: explosive dismemberment.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, got that part.
- Army Lt. Col. Hollis Mann: What we don't have are traceable fragments from that explosion.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Yes, Abby was complaining about the dearth of physical evidence from the crime scene.
- [to the body]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Present company excepted, of course.