Family Guy (TV Series)

Chick Cancer (2006)

Rachael MacFarlane: Olivia

Quotes 

• Stewie Griffin : Uh, what's for dinner

  Olivia : [grabs the Play-Doh Fun Factory Machine]  Play-Doh spaghetti.

  Stewie Griffin : [pauses]  Oh.

  Olivia : [stops making the Play-Doh spaghetti]  What?

  Stewie Griffin : No, no, it's nothing, just had Play-Doh spaghetti last night

  [under breath] 

  Stewie Griffin : and that's all we had last night.

  Olivia : What does that mean?

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, I don't know, Olivia. Uh, maybe we are in a sexless marriage. We have yet to have sex.

  Olivia : Do you even know what sex is?

  Stewie Griffin : That's not the point, don't change the... it's a kind of cake?

• Stewie Griffin : Hey, babe. What do you say, we going out Saturday night?

  Olivia : Stewie, what are doing you here? I told you, I'm just into a different type of guy.

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what you're into. Being ugly.

  Olivia : Stewie, you're being mean.

  Stewie Griffin : No, if I was being mean, when you opened the door, I would've said, "Oh, hey, Ray Liotta, is Olivia home?" You see, I thought you were Ray Liotta because your skin has the texture of a decorative autumn squash.

  [Olivia starts crying] 

  Stewie Griffin : So, I'll pick you up at 7:00?

  Olivia : [still sobbing]  That sounds wonderful.

• Stewie Griffin : Sorry, we're late, everyone, but JonBenet here took forever with her makeup.

  Olivia : Ah, yes, and we probably would've shaved a few minutes off our trip, but Mr. Cheapo here refused to let the valet touch his Big Wheel, so we had to drive around the block six times 'til we could find a spot. But to his credit, it's a great place to get mugged.

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, wouldn't that be a shame if they took all MY money in both OUR wallets.

• Olivia : [to Stewie]  What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like a jerk.

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, I'm acting like a jerk? What about Phony Curtis over there?

  Olivia : He happens to be a very intelligent, successful actor. And you know, he's done three national diaper commercials.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah, let's put a diaper on his face. That's where the crap is coming out.

• Olivia : [to the waiter]  Do you have Hi-C Tropical Punch?

  Stewie Griffin : And it begins...

  Olivia : What, I can't have a drink with dinner?

  Stewie Griffin : So dinner started at 2:00 this afternoon, did it?

  Olivia : Yes, about the same time you decided to hole up in the bathroom for three hours waxing your eyebrows.

  Stewie Griffin : You swore you would never... I have a prominent brow and I do what I can to get by.

• Olivia : Do you even know what sex IS?

  Stewie Griffin : Now really I- don't change the- is it a kind of cake?