Scrubs (TV Series)

My Mirror Image (2006)

Ken Jenkins: Dr. Bob Kelso

Quotes 

• Dr. Kelso : Uh, Dr. Dorian, look, this is a bit awkward, but as Chief of Medicine I feel obligated to ask you about your relationship with Dr. Briggs... was she naughty? I bet she was a hellcat.

  J.D. : Get help, sir.

  Dr. Kelso : Never mind. It's better up here.

• Janitor : Hey, since we're small talking, lemme ask you a question? Do you have regrets about the way you lived your life? Because I think I do.

  Dr. Kelso : You've never been to Paris and cleaned a French toilet, huh?

  Janitor : Good one. No, that's not it. Come on, be straight with me. Do you think I'm wasting my life.

  Dr. Kelso : Let's cut to the chase, freak show. If you're a forty-four-year-old man wearing a jumpsuit and you are not climbing into the cockpit of a rocket ship, chances are you've made a lot of wrong turns along the way. Good talk.

• Dr. Cox : [Dr. Cox enters in sweaty casual wear]  Gather round, doomed new interns who just paged me! Quick question: What does this outfit tell you?

  Dr. Kelso : You... are entering a Joe Piscopo look-alike contest?

  Dr. Cox : It means that I was just working out -- which, incidentally, is the last remaining activity I have in my adult life that qualifies as "Me Time." Other activities recently crossed off of that list include my morning dump and all showers. You see, my dear son Jack has decided that those are team sports. However, I'm here, and I'm totally psyched to hear whatever the super-de-duper reason is that you paged me.

  Intern : [a male intern with a chart is shoved forward]  Mr. White's chart said to remove his eight stitches, but we counted nine. Should we leave one?

  Dr. Cox : [tranquil fury]  That's it. Every single one of you is gonna run laps around the hallways until I say stop.