Mystery!: Campion (TV Series)

Look to the Lady: Part 2 (1989)

Peter Davison: Albert Campion

Photos 

Quotes 

• Val Gyrth : This is a senior police officer?

  Albert Campion : No, Mr. Walker is a criminal currently between sentences.

• Albert Campion : What happened to Lugg?

  Branch : He's gone off his rocker, sir!

  Albert Campion : How were you able to spot the difference?

• Ernie Walker : Yeah, but who's Matthew working for? That's the big one isn't it.

  Albert Campion : We are mildly interested.

  Ernie Walker : Mildly interested costs a fiver.

  Albert Campion : Your dad would have come across for half a crown.

  Ernie Walker : Don't blame me, blame the gold standard.

• Chief Inspector Stanislaus Oates : I can provide the protection. I'll leave it to the gifted private individual to solve the mystery.

  Albert Campion : My pleasure.

  Chief Inspector Stanislaus Oates : But try to be circumspect about your drastic spots of eradication. It can be illegal in some cases.

• [Lugg resigns after being attacked in the haunted wood] 

  Albert Campion : Just tell me what you saw.

  Magersfontein Lugg : I saw that monster, the one they keep in the secret room. The one they feed with the pump.

  Albert Campion : That's nonsense. Tell me what you saw.

  Magersfontein Lugg : It was ten foot 'igh! It had horns, it smelled putrid - like dead fish. It was like a ten-foot-high goat, walkin' on its 'ind legs!

  Albert Campion : That's better. Now I believe you.

  Magersfontein Lugg : You do?

  Albert Campion : Not only that, but I will not accept your resignation.

• Penny Gyrth : Why are we going to see the Professor?

  Albert Campion : Because he's one of the world's leading authorities on ten-foot-high goats.

• [examining a blurry photograph of the creature in the haunted wood] 

  Albert Campion : Any chance of catching one of these things? I'm sure all you need is a large butterfly net and formidable biceps.

  Professor Gardner Cairey : If it turns out to be what I think it is, it's much more unpleasant than any ghost.

• [Daisy's henchman drag Campion away] 

  Albert Campion : It's a fair cop. I'll go quietly, guv'nor. I'd like a cell with a view, early morning call, tea and a copy of the Sporting Life at, say, 8:30.

• [Campion is imprisoned in a barn loft] 

  Mrs. Daisy Shannon : Good evening. You haven't shaved at all today. Not much of a credit to the regiment.

  Albert Campion : I have to tell you, Mrs. Shannon, I can't honestly recommend this place. The bed creaks, the telephone doesn't work, the room service is non-existent and the staff extremely rude.

  [a horse whinnies below] 

  Albert Campion : Oh yes, and the people downstairs are very noisy. Otherwise it's fine.

• Albert Campion : Forgive my asking - it's my natural curiousity and prejudice - are you thinking of killing me?

  Mrs. Daisy Shannon : Not thinking - preparing.

• Albert Campion : Don't tell me, let me guess. I was about to be executed by a horse and you just happened to be passing.

  Professor Gardner Cairey : Penny told me about the gypsies, the chalice turned up in the post, Val turned up in that hedge wearing a white flower. I decided to take a cycle ride to the heath. I found your car parked not far from here. The tyres have been slashed by the way.

  Albert Campion : You can't trust anyone nowadays. I blame talking pictures.

• [examine the bloody wound on Campion's face] 

  Professor Gardner Cairey : Did she do that?

  Albert Campion : Making a point in the cut and thrust of debate.

• Albert Campion : Muggy Mathews - one of the best cat burglars in the business. He can climb up the sheer face of running water.

• [a truckload of gypsies attack Daisy's henchmen] 

  Professor Gardner Cairey : Campion, I do believe this is the dirtiest fighting I've ever seen.

  Albert Campion : There are historical reasons for it. In the red corner, gypsies; in the blue corner, race gangs. They have a long history of ideological disputes.

  Professor Gardner Cairey : Your people seem to be doing rather well. Will they get away with it?

  Albert Campion : They never kill. They're more for modified disabling.

• Colonel Gyrth : I never lock my door.

  Albert Campion : Is that wise?

  Colonel Gyrth : If I lock my door, people can't get in.

• Albert Campion : I am rehearsing what I shall tell Stanislaus.

  Val Gyrth : Who in the devil is Stanislaus.

  Albert Campion : Inspector Stanislaus Oates, a senior and highly respected police officer, but meeting us tonight in his capacity as a civilized human being.

• Albert Campion : Do you by any chance know of a wealthy, influential man-about-the-underworld called "The Daisy"?

• Chief Inspector Stanislaus Oates : What exactly are you up to? Or is it a state secret again?

  Albert Campion : I'm taking the short road as opposed to the long road.

  Chief Inspector Stanislaus Oates : Thank you very much, that's much clearer.

  Albert Campion : Or to express it in another way, it is the one occasion in a hundred when publicity would be catastrophic, official police involvement undesirable and it falls to the gifted private individual to take responsibility.

  Chief Inspector Stanislaus Oates : And you are taking responsibility for what?

  Albert Campion : The safety of a great national treasure, coupled with a spot of drastic eradication.

• Old Mr. Peck : Won't catch nothin'! That's a spirit. Not a net - that'll go right through it like it was water.

  Albert Campion : What do you think about it, Percy?

  Percy Peck : I fixed that there wireless so the old 'un could hear fellas in Paris playin' music. If I can rule that, I can rule any old ghost.

• Professor Gardner Cairey : You know what we've got here?

  Albert Campion : Apart from the stink?

  Professor Gardner Cairey : A witch!

• [Using a deck of cards, Campion tells Daisy her fortune] 

  Albert Campion : I see a queen surrounded by a pack of knaves. I see them pursuing a crock of gold or even a pot of gold.

  [Campion deals a joker] 

  Albert Campion : I see a fair young man standing between her and the pot of gold. I see a silly old woman and her even sillier son who might give the game away - and perhaps they already have. I see a lot of journeys. I see a far journey. Oh yes, most certainly, you take the long road, Daisy.

  Mrs. Daisy Shannon : Is that all you see?

  Albert Campion : No. I see a great many black cards. I think there's a death in this for somebody.

• Albert Campion : I may give the impression of being a gilded amateur, a gentleman rather than a player, but I've passed among you as a vulgar professional. At the appropriate time and with great discretion, money will change hands. Guineas, of course.

  Penny Gyrth : But who employed you?

  Albert Campion : Sorry, ma'am. Not at liberty to say.

• [last lines] 

  Albert Campion : But what did she see and why did she say those things? "No, you can't be..."

  Professor Gardner Cairey : The light was shining directly on the figure. The head was up-raised.

  Albert Campion : "No, you can't be... "... alive?

  Professor Gardner Cairey : Let me offer the thought that on the night, the visor was up. She saw the face. It may be a very shocking sight.

  Albert Campion : But did she hear a voice?

  Professor Gardner Cairey : We all hear voices from time to time. There are more things in heaven and earth, Orlando.

• Magersfontein Lugg : Now do you believe me about ghost-hunting, eh?

  Albert Campion : I can reliably inform you your ten-foot-high goat was in fact an old bald-headed woman.

  Magersfontein Lugg : I think I'd rather have the goat.