Baby Mama (2008)

Siobhan Fallon Hogan: Birthing Teacher

Quotes 

• Birthing Teacher : Welcome to the birthing center. In this birthing class we are going to help you new mommies and daddies, and our mommies and mommies, lesbian lovers...

  Kate Holbrook , Angie Ostrowiski : No.

  Birthing Teacher : prepare for that marathon of labor. Quick question before we start, how many of you are planning on doing natural child birth?

  [everyone raises hand except Angie and Kate] 

  Birthing Teacher : That's a good show of hands! That's so great, you're all so brave! And how many of you are planning on using toxic western medications to drug your baby for your own selfish comfort, anyone?

  Angie Ostrowiski : [raises hands]  OOH OOOOOH!

• Birthing Teacher : As your pregnancy progresses, your partner can help you prep your perineum for the great stretch of delivery. Massage the area daily with a little EVOO to help you stretch and prevent tearing.

  Angie Ostrowiski : What is she talking about?

  Kate Holbrook : I think she wants me to rub olive oil on your taint.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Is it cool if maybe I spray a little PAM down in that area right before the baby comes out?

  Kate Holbrook : You have to admit it's a valid suggestion.