Metalocalypse (TV Series)
Skwisklok (2006)
Brendon Small: Skwisgaar Skwigelf, Pickles the Drummer, Nathan Explosion, Charles Foster Ofdensen
Quotes
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Toki Wartooth : Ah, cool, you gots a new shipment of custom guitar!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yeah, this is uh, some designs I'm messing around with, uh, this one is, um, Swiss Army-tar. It's a good guitar for a camping trip, it's got toothpick.
Pickles the Drummer : Yeah, good tone. What's that one right there?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Uhh, is just an Antfarm-itar. But, still workings on it.
William Murderface : Nice! I'd like to stand on that thing.
Pickles the Drummer : Yeah, I'd stand on that.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Yah, and this is the Gibson Excalibu-tar, ya know. And here's my guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross.
William Murderface : Awww, get ready for a billion e-mails. Here comes the offended religious weirdos.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : What's offensive about the most religious instrument ever?
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Are you telling me they are out of dragons?
Stage Hand : They never HAD dragons
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Who didn't?
Stage Hand : The world!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : GET this guy out of here! FIND me a dragon!
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Hello I'm fine, just... getting high.
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Charles Foster Ofdensen : Skwisgaar, this is your hand insurance policy. Should anything happen to your hands, you will be reimbursed $10 billion. Just sign here... here... and just sign here...
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Here. It looks like it's wont stop. How many copy I gots to sign?
Charles Foster Ofdensen : Ten. One policy for each finger.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Oh, yeah. That makes sense.
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Pickles the Drummer : Our country's experiencing a horrible problem - nobody is using nickels. Use nickels. Nickels is money too guys.
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Okay, let me explains again, in prafectly clear English, I wants flies in on a dragons, okay? How many times I got to tells this peoples?
Stage Hand : I know, there isn't a dragon.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : I know that's what I'm telling you!
Stage Hand : But that's what I'm telling you!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : So go get one! What are you doing here? Go, go get one now, go, go!
Stage Hand : They don't have them!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Are you telling me they are out of dragons?
Stage Hand : They never had dragons!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Who didn't?
Stage Hand : The world!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : GET this guy out of here! FIND me a dragon!
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Nathan Explosion : Explosion Sauce. Good on its own.
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William Murderface : We've been talking Skwisgaar and, we think this whole production could be a lot more... zippy. It just, it needs zazz! Am I, I mean I'm right to say that right?
Nathan Explosion : No, you're right to say that. It's just, you know, you could stand to zazz it a up a little bit more.
Pickles the Drummer : No offense Skwisgaar but I gotta say this whole thing, it uh, it lacks zazz.
William Murderface : You could just put it on the zazz train to zazz-ville.
Toki Wartooth : Yeah because no offense there's absolutely no zazz to be found, not here anyway, not in these parts.
Nathan Explosion : What we're trying to say is that there's two kinds of shows out there, those with and those without...
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Could you please stop saying zazz?
Nathan Explosion : Zazz.
Pickles the Drummer : Zazz.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Please stop saying zazz.
Pickles the Drummer : Why don't you let us help you out?
William Murderface : Yeah and lighten the load, make it more zaaa - ohh, you know.
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Nathan Explosion : Hello. Isn't this a nice surprise? Me being here at this incredibly zazzy event.
William Murderface : A fantastic star-studded evening, of zazz!
Pickles the Drummer : Got any room for any more zazz up here?
Toki Wartooth : I think I have diabetes. I'm going to take a fucking nap.