- Natalie: No offense, but I can't even imagine sleeping with you. Not even if I had been poisoned and the antidote was in your sperm. Seriously, I would rather feel my insides slowly decompose than see you naked... I know you think I'm kidding... I'm not...
- Dr. Ned: So what's your steez now? What's the... what's the shot, what's the move, what's... what's your jam?
- Gene: Look, the thing is Charlotte... I really like you and these past six months have been great, but we need to break up.
- Charlotte: Why?
- Gene: Well... life is... too short... to settle... for someone...
- Charlotte: Ugly? You think I'm ugly?
- Gene: No, no, no. I don't think that you're ugly...
- Charlotte: You think I'm stupid, don't you?
- Gene: No you're not stupid...
- Charlotte: Oh my God, am I bad in bed? I am, aren't I?
- Gene: God, you're not bad in bed...
- Charlotte: Well then, what is it?
- Gene: You're too short for me.
- Charlotte: [Looking at first confused, then angry] Listen Tom Thumb, you know how many guys would kill to fuck me? The list is longer than you are.