South Park (TV Series)
Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (2006)
Kathryn Howell: Miss Stevenson
Quotes
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Eric Cartman : [after seeing Ike and Miss Stevenson kissing] HALL INFRACTION!
Miss Stevenson : [nervously] Oh, we were just heading back in.
Eric Cartman : You got a hall pass, brah?
Miss Stevenson : I don't need a hall pass, I'm a teacher.
Eric Cartman : Yeah? Well, where's HIS hall pass?
Miss Stevenson : Look, just let us get back in.
Eric Cartman : Get down on the floor!
Miss Stevenson : We're going back inside!
Eric Cartman : You like bear mace, ice head?
Miss Stevenson : Bear mace?
Eric Cartman : You're going with Christ!
[sprays Miss Stevenson with bear mace]
Miss Stevenson : Aaaaahhh!
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Therapist : Was there ever a history of sexual abuse in your family?
Miss Stevenson : No, but my uncle used to ask me and my twin sister to kiss and he'd take pictures.
Therapist : Nice...
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Miss Stevenson : Hold on, please. You don't understand!
Kyle : Really? What's there not to understand?
Miss Stevenson : Your brother and I are in love.
Kyle : He's a little young, don't you think?
Ike Broflovski : Oh!
Miss Stevenson : Ike is very mature for his age and you know it.
Ike Broflovski : Ring around the roses.
Miss Stevenson : He makes me feel like nobody else does. He loves me and only me and I know I'm a goddess to him. When we make love, he can give it to me hard or soft and...
Kyle : Alright! We're getting the hell out of here!
Ike Broflovski : No, no, no, no, no, no!
Kyle : Ike, you can't possibly want this. We have to tell Mom.
Ike Broflovski : [starts crying]
Kyle : Ike!
Miss Stevenson : Is it so hard to believe that true love exists?
Kyle : [after a pause] This is nuts.
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Miss Stevenson : [after having sex with Ike Broflovski] That was unbelievable. I've never felt like such a woman before. They'll say our love is wrong, but we can't let anybody know. They'll never understand. We were meant to be, I know it. How else could sex be that incredible?