- Commercial Voiceover: [a Wong Burger commercial is being shown on Master Shake's television] Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it and win!
- [rips off the bottom of the cup and soda pours out]
- Commercial Voiceover: Prizes include a new car, or a discount on teriyaki fries! At Wong Burger, when it's right, it's Wong!
- [spoken quickly as a crawl runs quickly on the screen]
- Commercial Voiceover: Some customers may get their dicks ripped off.
- Carl: Right there! Right there, did you hear that?
- Meatwad: Oh yeah, about them teriyaki fries?
- Carl: No no no no no, the last part, the low fast part! Rewind, go back!
- Meatwad: We ain't got no Tivo, see.
- Master Shake: That was live, Carl.
- Meatwad: But we can still go back, through the power of imagination!
- Master Shake: I like the way you're thinking. Go get your puppets!
- Meatwad: Okay.
- [leaves the room]
- Master Shake: This is gold!
- [Meatwad takes a few minutes to get his puppets, and Carl, Master Shake, and Frylock exchange glances while music from the TV plays until Meatwad returns with a pair of crude puppets made from a sock and an oven mitt]
- Master Shake: Alright, let's go. Roll it.
- Meatwad: [with the puppets] Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it and win! Prizes include a new car, or a discount on teriyaki fries! At Wong Burger, when it's right, it's Wong!
- [pauses, than says quickly]
- Meatwad: Some customers may get their dicks ripped off.
- Carl: Friggin knew he said that! I KNEW he said that!
- Meatwad: What, about the teriyaki fries?
- Meatwad: [In front of a closet that has a sign that says "WARNING! DO NOT ENTER!] Carl, in here, no one won't ever think to look in here.
- [Opens the door to reveal a pink intestinal-like surface with a gaping black hole]
- Meatwad: No one won't ever want to get near here.
- Carl: You, uh, you sure about this?
- Meatwad: Aww, just do it.
- [Master Shake pushes Carl in and closes the door. A second later, the door opens up again, and Carl comes flying out of the closet screaming]
- Meatwad: Whoops, my bad.
- Frylock: [angrily closing the door] I told y'all: this closet is not to be opened, it is a horrible horrible place in there!
- Meatwad: Well there's a knob there.
- Frylock: Why do you think I put the sign there? You think I was being cute?
- Meatwad: I don't know.
- Meatwad: Hey y'all, look at this! Just rip it and win!
- [rips the bottom off his cup, spilling soda everywhere]
- Frylock: Oh what'd you win Meatwad?
- Meatwad: [holding the bottom of his cup excitedly] 20 cents off my next Wasabi fries, all right! You see, they fill the fries with wasabi sauce through hot tubs of meat...
- Frylock: [impatiently] I know Meatwad, I know! I saw the ad too.
- Meatwad: Yeah, and they're good too!
- Frylock: Yeah, I'm sure they're not.
- Meatwad: [to Mastershake] Do yours, rip it and win!
- Master Shake: [knocks over his 85-gallon cup of soda, which sends Meatwad flying out of the shot. He then rips off the bottom of his cup] 20 cents off the next order of wasabi fries!
- Meatwad: You see, they fill the french fry up with wasabi sauce, and...
- Master Shake: Yeah, we know ok? We know!
- Meatwad: See what you win Carl!
- Carl: [rips off the bottom of his cup and reads slowly] Uh... tonight you will get your dick ripped off.
- [pauses]
- Carl: That doesn't sound right does it?
- Rice Henchmen: You don't think they're "dicking around" over there, do you?
- Mr. Wongburger: I doubt it. They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick... as we all do.
- Frylock: [opens door to reveal two rice henchmen] Can I help you?
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, you can!
- [he and other henchmen dance to oriental music]
- Frylock: You're from Wong's, aren't you?
- Rice Henchmen: Yes I am! So, who's going to get their dick ripped off tonight?
- Rice Henchmen: Scratch off and win.
- Rice Henchmen: Every cup's a winner.
- Rice Henchmen: One in three chance of getting your dick ripped off!
- Frylock: Dude, look! You're wasting your time because no one won that!
- Rice Henchmen: Oh, well, that's not what he said.
- Rice Henchmen: Who won it, little man?
- Rice Henchmen: 'Cause someone's dick is coming with me tonight!
- Frylock: [wearing a surgical mask] You can get up now Carl, I think we're done.
- Carl: [moaning] Oh man...
- Frylock: Feel alright?
- Carl: Where'd you get these painkillers from? They're awesome!
- Frylock: Yeah maybe you should... just like... use pills forever.
- Carl: [the camera zooms up Carl's body, revealing him to be looking in a mirror while dressed in women's clothing, wearing nails and a wig, and with a scar near his forehead while sexy music plays] Yeah you're right. This was a very bad idea.
- Master Shake: Hey Carlina, wow!
- Carl: Oh yeah, I get it. Yeah, you put me under, dressed me as a woman, took pictures of me. Laugh's on me, huh?
- Frylock: Well no Carl, see heh, you're not just dressed like a woman.
- Carl: Oh do go on, please!
- Frylock: Well, it's pretty simple really. I removed your dick so no one will have no need to remove it!
- Carl: So the blood stain
- [on his crotch]
- Carl: is just... what is that me having my period I guess? Heh heh heh...
- Frylock: Well it could be, or it could just be the spot where I snipped your dick off...
- Meatwad: You're taking pretty good Carl. Kudos.
- Carl: Seem like this whole thing kinda defeats the purpose, ya know?
- Frylock: Yep, and what I just did was a very bad idea.
- Carl: Ya think maybe I could have my dick back? Oh wait, you know what? Maybe you should keep my dick, so you could uh... hump yourself!
- [storms off]
- Master Shake: Technically that would not be doing yourself, just for the record.
- Master Shake: [Frylock, Meatwad, and Carl are all carrying a giant soda drink cup out of Wongburger's. After they place it down on the pavement, Mastershake comes out of the restaurant pushing a handcart] Whew! Was that thing heavy?
- Frylock: Damn it Shake, did you have to order the Superize Trough?
- Master Shake: Hydration is essential...
- [begins drinking through the straw on the cup]
- Master Shake: ... oh, that's so good...
- [sips again]
- Master Shake: ... and I need 85...
- [takes a sip that lasts ten seconds]
- Master Shake: ... gallons of soda per day, and plus!
- [sips again]
- Master Shake: it comes with the edible handcart!
- [holds up handcart he pushed out and takes a bite out of the wheel]
- Master Shake: The tires are chocolate!
- Rice Henchmen: Hello?
- Mr. Wongburger: Did you get the dick yet?
- Rice Henchmen: We're working on it, Mr. Wongburger.
- Mr. Wongburger: Finally! Tonight, I will have enough dicks to complete the Dick Ship and return to Dick Planet!
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, Mr. Wongburger.
- Mr. Wongburger: Those dicks. Will you please? Somebody, stack them better!
- Rice Henchmen: The dicks won't hold together, Mr. Wongburger!
- Rice Henchmen: We're going to have to wrap those dicks with something. Maybe, with a... a dick.
- Mr. Wongburger: Are you telling me that I don't know dick?
- [the Rice minions stop for a moment]
- Mr. Wongburger: If anyone knows how to build a ship out of dicks, it is me!
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, Mr. Wongburger.
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, Mr. Wongburger.
- Mr. Wongburger: Because I am King Dick!
- Rice Henchmen: We're missing a dick for the nose cone!
- Mr. Wongburger: The Dick Ship will never hold together! What's taking them so long? He entered a binding legal contract the moment he took the sip!
- Rice Henchmen: All the dicks are polished, sir.
- Mr. Wongburger: Probably needs just a couple more... dick rotors. Maybe a dick wheel or two.
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, Mr. Wongburger.
- Mr. Wongburger: And, um... How'd you have to fill it up with some dicks?
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, we got a full tank of dicks.
- Mr. Wongburger: Full tank. Good, good, good. Wall to wall dick carpeting?
- Rice Henchmen: Yes, you've mentioned that, Mr. Wongburger.
- Master Shake: Aw, dick!
- Frylock: Shake.
- Master Shake: Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!
- Mr. Wongburger: INTRUDERS! Stop them!
- Rice Henchmen: Close the dick gate!
- Mr. Wongburger: What are you doing, touching my dicks?
- Frylock: You can't just run around, ripping out people's dicks to make a giant Dick Ship!
- Mr. Wongburger: I have an advanced dick-ree in dick-nology!
- Frylock: You're a madman, Wongburger! The ship will never fly!
- Mr. Wongburger: Well, how else am I supposed to get home?
- Frylock: Call someone to pick you up.
- Mr. Wongburger: I will.
- Master Shake: Hey. I got to know which one of these is Carl's.
- Frylock: It don't matter. Just get one.
- Master Shake: YOU grab one! I'm not touching those dicks.
- Meatwad: [In front of a closet that has a sign that says "WARNING! DO NOT ENTER!] Carl, in here, no one won't ever think to look in here.
- [Opens the door to reveal a pink intestinal-like surface with a gaping black hole]
- Meatwad: No one won't ever want to get near here.
- Carl: You, uh, you sure about this?
- Meatwad: Aww, just do it.
- [Master Shake pushes Carl in and closes the door. A second later, the door opens up again, and Carl comes flying out of the closet screaming]
- Meatwad: Whoops, my bad.
- Frylock: [angrily closing the door] I told y'all: this closet is not to be opened, it is a horrible horrible place in there!
- Meatwad: Well, there's a knob there.
- Frylock: Why do you think I put the sign there? You think I was being cute?
- Meatwad: I don't know.
- Frylock: Hang on hang on hang on. I have a better plan. Meatwad, you've got a big dick right?
- Meatwad: Oh yeah, huge. But I need it...
- [smiles devilishly]
- Meatwad: ... for tonight!
- Frylock: But it's detachable, and that helps us!
- Master Shake: [angrily] No! No way I am having a dick made of hamburger!
- Frylock: I'm not giving it to you!
- Master Shake: Good! Cuz I don't need it! Cuz I'm HUGE... between the legs!
- Meatwad: Who wants to see my dick?
- [sounds of meat being pressed together are heard, while Frylock, Master Shake, and Carl bug their eyes out]
- Meatwad: See, Dick Nixon!
- [Meatwad has transformed into a statue of Abraham Lincoln holding a sword]
- Meatwad: Ol' Tricky Dick!