South Park (TV Series)

Go God Go (2006)

April Stewart: Liane Cartman, Principal Victoria, Girl

Quotes 

• [Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey are counseling Ms. Garrison to teach the kids evolution] 

  Ms. Garrison : [with her back to the principal's desk]  Principal Victoria, it is wrong! It is wrong and I simply will not do it!

  [she walks back to the desk] 

  Ms. Garrison : I care about my students, and I will not fill their heads with lies!

  [she pounds on the desk for emphasis] 

  Ms. Garrison : [shouts]  I am *not* teaching evolution in my class!

  Principal Victoria : Mrs. Garrison, evolution is in the school curriculum. We have to teach it.

  Ms. Garrison : Evolution is a theory! A hare-brained theory that says I'm a monkey! I am not a monkey! I'm a woman!

  Mr. Mackey : M'kay. Y-you realize evolution has been pretty much, uh, proven.

  Ms. Garrison : I warn you, Principal Victoria! Those students are not prepared to hear this stuff!

  Principal Victoria : Our students want to learn, Mrs. Garrison, and they're mature enough to handle anything.

• [the angry Triscotti parents, with their disturbed daughter, are discussing about evolution in Principal Victoria's office with Ms. Garrison] 

  Mr. Triscotti : Principal Victoria, we are a devout Catholic family! Do you mind telling me why my daughter now thinks she's a retarded fish-frog?

  Ms. Garrison : [angry]  I told you this would happen, didn't I?

  Principal Victoria : Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware that...

  Mr. Triscotti : We have worked years to instill the teachings of Jesus Christ into our daughter, and in one fell swoop, you try to destroy everything we did!

  Ms. Garrison : I hear ya!

  Principal Victoria : Sir, if you don't wish your daughter to learn about evolution, then we can pull her out of class.

  Mr. Triscotti : You most certainly will!

  Girl : But Dad, I want to learn everything!

  Mr. Triscotti : No you don't! Shut up!

  [he and his wife take their daughter and leave the room]