Andy Barker, P.I. (TV Series)
The Lady Varnishes (2007)
Amy Sedaris: Rita Spaulding
Quotes
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Rita Spaulding : Well aren't you just the cat's pajama's. You are aren't you?
[puts on thick glasses]
Rita Spaulding : Oh, hell yes!
[groans suggestively]
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Andy Barker : [Rita has one wooden leg] I'm sorry about your leg...
Rita Spaulding : Oh, it's no biggie. There's a girl in D-Block who lost the other one. Now we buy shoes together.
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Andy Barker : You said in your letter that you had been framed for the murder.
Rita Spaulding : That's right, couldn't have done that. I was in the Brown Derby at the time.
Andy Barker : Well, that ought to be fairly easy to prove.
Rita Spaulding : Well, whoever framed me got everybody to done me up.
Andy Barker : So no one saw you going in?
Rita Spaulding : No, I was with a married guy. We went in the back door.
Lew Staziak : [standing in doorframe] We did that a few times, didn't we doll?
Rita Spaulding : Well Lew Staziak as I live and breathe. Actually, I was talking about going in the back door of the Brown Derby.
Lew Staziak : So was I.
Rita Spaulding : No, I mean the back door of the restaurant.
Lew Staziak : Oh. I didn't go there.
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Andy Barker : Eh, Lew what are you doing here?
Lew Staziak : I realized I couldn't let you alone with this one. She'd fill your head with lies and your pants with hands.
Rita Spaulding : Still got two of those.
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Rita Spaulding : [shouting] Oh, and tell Lew I'm sorry I broke his heart!
[quietly]
Rita Spaulding : And burned his house.
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Lew Staziak : So how's your wine, Sweetheart?
Rita Spaulding : Well, it's better than the stuff we used to make in my toilet.
Jenny Barker : You guys are adorable!