- Parker Lee: Logan, can we, like, borrow you?
- Logan: Will I be returned in my current pristine condition?
- Bronson Pope: This is what you meant by 'crash?'
- Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Oh, yeah... I meant 'bang.' I got my onomatopoeias mixed up.
- Sheriff Don Lamb: I know you from somewhere.
- Wallace Fennel: Yeah! You told me to go see the Wizard and ask him for some guts.
- Sheriff Don Lamb: Well didja?
- Wallace Fennel: Yeah! He said to let you know you're the only sheriff in America who he considers a true friend of Dorothy.
- Keith: [Veronica is in jail] Please tell me you didn't help an accused murderer escape jail.
- Veronica: Yo Pops, check it out. This girl ain't gonna be nobody's bitch. You better recognize.
- Keith: [re: a fake tattoo] What's that on your arm?
- Veronica: I've had some free time. And, no, I didn't help Josh escape - not intentionally. Turns out he's allergic to peanuts. His plan was to take advantage of my kindness.
- Keith: That's gotta be the first time that's worked for anybody.
- Veronica: [Cliff McCormack walks in] Clifford, something wrong?
- Cliff McCormack: I've just remembered I need to return "Caged Heat" to the video store. You folks wanna hear the good news or the bad news first?
- Keith: I'm gonna say the good news.
- Cliff McCormack: Josh's cellmate and key witness to the Cookie Incident ate the evidence and, icing on the cake, blew a .21 on the breathalizer when they booked him. No way Lamb can get a conviction and he knows it.
- Keith: That sounds like great news.
- Cliff McCormack: But, he's gonna hold Veronica as long as he possibly can.
- Keith: Can I get you anything, honey?
- Veronica: Uh, couple cartons of smokes.
- [Keith gives her a look]
- Veronica: What, Dad, it's currency on the inside.
- Keith: Any guess where I might find Josh?
- Veronica: Mexico?
- Keith: So you think he did it?
- Veronica: I don't know. If he didn't, he sure panicked quickly.
- Keith: That's what I thought too.
- Cliff McCormack: Anyone wanna know what I think?
- [silence]
- Cliff McCormack: Fine, I'll keep it to myself. I'm just saying, my entire day is spent going through my clients' lives. This kid, he's on the up and up.
- Keith: Okay, I've got an appointment with Dean O'Dell's old assistant. I can't just put his murder case on hold.
- [gives Veronica a look]
- Veronica: What?
- Keith: Just, I thought this sight would be more traumatic for me, but...
- [shrugs]
- Keith: I need to see the sheriff.
- Deputy Sacks: I don't know, Keith, he looks kind of busy.
- Keith: Oh, that's something I gotta see.
- Logan: Am I the only one who misses good old Melvil Dewey? And there it is, all the knowledge I retained from fourth grade. Melvil Dewey. Oh, and the types of clouds. You know, stratus, cumulus, cirrus...
- Deputy Sacks: We got the results on the keyboard you wanted.
- Keith: You got prints off the dean's computer?
- Sheriff Don Lamb: By all means, Sacks, tell me the forensics results in front of Neptune's favourite amateur crime-fighting duo.
- Deputy Sacks: [Hesitates] I can't tell, Sheriff, are you being sarcastic...
- Sheriff Don Lamb: Did you ID the prints or not, Sacks?
- Keith: Did you bug Hank Landry's phone?
- Veronica: Wait, what?
- Keith: He just came storming into the office, saying he found a bug in his cell phone, asking me if I planted it. I didn't. Did you?
- Veronica: No.
- [He stares hard at her]
- Veronica: Really. Come on, dad.
- [She draws a circle around her face with her hand]
- Veronica: This is the face of truth.
- Keith: Yeah, that played better in a different context. But, okay, I'm a sucker. I believe you. Word of advice: you might want to start looking for a new mentor.
- Veronica: Wait. He suspected me?
- Keith: Vigorously. Though he emphasised that it was my bad influence, that you're a sharp kid, just a bit misguided.
- Veronica: The movie. He knew why I asked about Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
- Keith: You want to pick at his alibi, you should have asked him about the Clippers game that night. Men routinely accept the idea that women don't know sports. That's just a... mentoring sample, for if you're interested.
- Logan: Will this require math?
- Parker Lee: I hope not.
- Logan: 'Cause I'm bad at math.
- Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: I'll do the math. You just be male and drive.