- Fruitcake Man: Bring the children to Fruitcake Man. I love the children.
- [a parent plops a child onto the Fruitcake Man's lap]
- Fruitcake Man: Go on. Take a gift. I feel nothing.
- [the child starts bawling hysterically. The Fruitcake Man picks him up]
- Fruitcake Man: No, no, no, no, no. Shhh... Shhh...
- [the child takes a bite out of the Fruitcake Man's face. The Fruitcake Man screams in pain and falls out of his chair]
- Dad Elf: You know Screwdriver, Nailgun, Crowbar, and, uh, Jigsaw, but do you recall the most famous elf of all?
- Rocko: Eh... No, I don't.
- Dad Elf: That'd be Mitch. He had three legs. And was the last elf who could make it snow.
- Rocko: Oh, I'd love for it to snow!
- Dad Elf: Yeah, well, we lost him in a blizzard.