Machete (2010)

Danny Trejo: Machete

Photos 

5 more photos

Quotes 

• Machete : Machete don't text.

• Sartana : I thought Machete don't text.

  Machete : Machete improvises.

• Federale Officer : You're the boss.

  Machete : No.

  [Pulls out machete] 

  Machete : This is the boss.

• Padre Benito del Toro : It's not safe for you to be here.

  Machete : I'm not looking for "safe".

  Padre Benito del Toro : No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here!

  [Padre quickly blesses Machete] 

  Padre Benito del Toro : I absolve you of all your sins. Now, get the fuck out!

• Padre Benito del Toro : [offers Machete a cigar]  Cuban?

  Machete : Mexican.

• Booth's Bodyguard #1 : [seeing Machete walking towards Booth's doorsteps carrying a pickaxe and a motor scythe]  Hey, hey-heh, boss. Who are you?

  Machete : The new gardener.

  Booth's Bodyguard #1 : The gardener.

  [speaks Hungarian to Machete] 

  Booth's Bodyguard #1 : Just fuckin' with you, cheef. It's Hungarian for I going to kill you, you little monkey. You know what, there's a big pile of shit in the back, you can go and clean that up, all right? Make sure you do a good job.

  [Machete walks past him silently] 

  Booth's Bodyguard #1 : Make sure to wipe those boots off. Carrying shit in the house.

  [to his colleague] 

  Booth's Bodyguard #1 : You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw, you know, a machete...

• Booth : Tell me, where are my wife and daughter?

  Machete : With God.

  Booth : Well, I guess I won't be seeing them.

• Machete : Are you Shé?

  Luz : If I were Shé, do you think I'd be operating a taco truck? Shé brings hope. Shé rights the wrongs. Unfortunately, Shé is a myth.

• Machete : You're a fighter.

  Luz : Only when there's something worth fighting for.

• Machete : Get dressed.

  Chica : It's too hot for clothes.

• Doc Felix : [Machete sees surgical tools]  Oh, you don't want to mess with that. That's a skull scraper; we use that to scrape the bones clean. And those cut through flesh just like butter.

  Machete : [grabs nurses belt]  Pass me that tank.

• [last lines] 

  Sartana : Where will you go?

  Machete : Everywhere.

  Sartana : Then I'll ride with you...

• Sartana : I started working on the night shift taking out the trash. But I worked my way up. As translator, assistant... Now I'm Special Agent in charge of investigations.

  Machete : Sounds like they still got you taking out the trash.

• Sartana : I called in a few favors. Look at this. Got you all the right papers. You can start over now, be a real person.

  Machete : [hands back the papers]  Why do I want to be a real person when I'm already a myth?

• [first lines] 

  Federale Officer : [in Spanish; subtitled]  We're federal agents, not martyrs. This is suicide. She's just another kidnap victim.

  [holding up picture] 

  Federale Officer : What makes her special? Because she's a witness against Torrez? He probably has her locked up, drugged our of her mind. We don't have to do this!

  Machete : If not us, then who?

• Julio : We just wanna help, bro.

  Machete : I don't need you help.

  Julio : If not us, then who?