The Green Hornet (2011)

Jay Chou: Kato

Photos 

Quotes 

• Britt Reid : Kato, I want you to take my hand, and I want you to come with me on this adventure.

  Kato : I go with you, but I don't want to touch you.

• Kato : You shot yourself face by mistake.

  Britt Reid : How long was I out? What time is it?

  Kato : Two o'clock.

  Britt Reid : Oh, that's not so bad.

  Kato : On Thursday.

  Britt Reid : It's Thursday? Are you ki... It's not Monday right now?

  Kato : No. I'm sorry.

  Britt Reid : Did you put this diaper on me? Well, what did I miss?

  Kato : Nothing really. I did some work on the Black Beauties.

  Britt Reid : "Beauties"?

  [Britt looks in the garage, sees more "Black Beauty" Chrysler Imperials] 

  Britt Reid : Holy crap.

  Kato : They're backups.

  Britt Reid : How the hell did you do this in four days?

  Kato : It's been 11 days.

  Britt Reid : Whoa, 11 days? What? Are kidding me? I wasn't sleeping, I was in a coma, dick!

• [last lines] 

  Britt Reid : The Green Hornet. His reliable partner, the Blue Wombat.

  Kato : [smacks him] 

  Britt Reid : Oh! Oh, man. Okay, how about, um, the Red Hippopotamus? No? Not Red Hippopotamus?

  Kato : Hippos are not red.

  Britt Reid : I know. Hornets aren't green. Who cares? The, uh, Orange Albatross.

• Britt Reid : What did you think of my father?

  Kato : He was fine.

  Britt Reid : Come on. Just tell me.

  Kato : He was my boss. Nobody loves their boss.

  Britt Reid : Don't sugarcoat this, Kato. You're not gonna offend me. Just tell me, man to man.

  Kato : He was a bit of a dick.

• Kato : I was born in Shanghai. You know Shanghai?

  Britt Reid : I love Japan.

• Britt Reid : You know what you are. You're a human Swiss army knife.

  Kato : I don't know what's that mean?

  Britt Reid : It's a little things, and you keep pulling out things, and just when you think there couldn't be any more cool things, a new cool thing comes out, and that's you! You are even dressed like one. You should have a little plus on your chest.

• Kato : Go be a journalist. I'll kick ass.

• Kato : But it's okay now, I fixed the Hornet gas. The gas only lasts one hour.

  Britt Reid : Can I see it?

  Kato : Okay, but be careful this time. Okay?

  Britt Reid : I just want to look at it. Just give it to me for one second...

  [shoots the Hornet gas in Kato's face] 

  Britt Reid : See you in an hour.

• Britt Reid : Think about this, Kato. What is the one insanely stupid thing every superhero has in common?

  Kato : Tights?

  Britt Reid : No.

  Kato : Cape?

  Britt Reid : No, Kato. It's that everybody knows they're the good guy, the hero, you know? All the bad guy has to do is start capping innocent people and he's got the good guy by the nuts! It's in every movie, it's in every comic book. It's in everything. It's so stupid. But if the bad guy thought the good guy was also a bad guy, he wouldn't be able to do that. That's what we will do differently. We will pose as villains, but we'll act like heroes.

  Kato : But then, the police and the bad guys will both try to kill us.

  Britt Reid : We're dead already, Kato. I mean, seriously, look at us. We've both been completely wasting our potential. You a little more than me. What do you want your autobiography to be called? "Oil Changes and Cappuccinos"? Because I think, "Balls Deep in Shit-Kicking Dudes by Kato" is a much cooler-sounding book. I would read that book, and I don't read shit! But when they adapted it as a movie, I would see the shit out of it. Kato, you would never have to make coffee for anyone again. It's a waste of your talent. It's not dying that you need to be afraid of. It's never having lived in the first place.

• Kato : You like your father now?

  Britt Reid : Yes! You see, he wasn't a dick after all. Well, he was a dick, just not really how we thought he was.

• Kato : Dickweed.

  Britt Reid : Okay, you're calling me that too now? I know people call me that. That's not a surprise to me. That's not a mystery, okay?

  Kato : Why not? You say rude things to me all day, every day. That's not how partners work.

  Britt Reid : We're not partners. I'm the hero, you're my sidekick! That's what this is! I'm Indy, you're Short Round! Simon, Garfunkel! Scooby, Doo!