- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating while cuddling Kim] It felt good to be holding the mother of my child...
- Dr. Kim Briggs: This is nice.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating, still cuddling Kim] ... but given recent events, cuddling was as far as I was gonna go. Kim and I had to get to know each other again and build trust and... oh, my God, is that side-boob?
- Dr. Kim Briggs: Oohh, careful with the side-boob, big guy... my hormones are going crazy. I might just pounce your skinny ass...
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Kim, I really don't think we should.
- Dr. Kim Briggs: I won't, then. I got a giant boogie in my nose.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating] Look at her saying "I won't" with a giant boogie in her nose... I must have her!
- [out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You know what, on second thought...
- Dr. Kim Briggs: Yes?
- [they start to kiss and make out]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating] Still, I wonder what it'll be like having sex with a pregnant woman.
- [later that night]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: That was so cool... and weird!
- Dr. Kim Briggs: Yeah... somebody else liked it too. He's going crazy in there.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And now it's disgusting.
- Dr. Perry Cox: [annoyed by Jordan's decision about J.D. being their daughter's godfather] Jordan, here are some things I'd rather see happen than dinkus over there becoming the godfather: a nuclear war, a sequel to "Hope Floats", Hugh Jackman winning an Oscar...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Yeah, yeah... funny long list, we get it. You need a new thing, big guy.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Oh...
- Urologist: Hey, I love being the new urologist here, but I'm having some troubles with my peers. Get it? Pee-ers?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: God, I hate you...
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [to Turk and Cox] Raj... Rerun...
- Dr. Perry Cox: OK, Tina... here's what I'm prepared to offer you to relinquish the post of godfather.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Not interested.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Effective immediately, I will stop calling you girls' names... you interested now?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'm still here, aren't I?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Be strong; you can get more.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Good thinking. What else you got, Per-Per?
- Dr. Perry Cox: I'll give you my real pager number.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [to Turk] I'll be able to page him 24/7!
- Dr. Christopher Turk: No deal.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: What are you doing?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Eeeeh! Put a cherry on top.
- Dr. Perry Cox: One hug.
- [J.D. screams]
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Per week.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Decade.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Month.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Year.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Done. You're welcome.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating while he's almost shacking hands with Cox] And then, as I was about to close the deal of the century, it hit me.
- [out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Wait a minute! If I agree with that I only get that stuff until you retire; but if I'm godfather, I'm in your life forever. I'll see you at the christening.
- [leaves]
- Dr. Perry Cox: I think this time I'm actually gonna kill him... yup, this is the one.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [JD and Elliot are lying next to each other on the same bed] Why are you wearing scrubs? I haven't seen you in those in like, two years.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: I didn't want to get my christening dress wrinkly. These were all I had in my locker.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I like you in scrubs. Reminds me of when we used to date.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [Snickers] That was a disaster.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: All of it?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: No.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You ever think maybe we're perfect for each other, we just have the same fatal flaw?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: You mean that whenever we get too close to a commitment, we totally freak out and try to escape?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: That's what we've been doing here all night, right?
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Besides, I've thought about it, and there's no escaping this one. The gifts are all here, people have bought plane tickets... I'm getting married. I've reached the point of no return.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You and me both.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: I mean, to get out of this... I'd have to do something huge.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'd have to go nuclear.
- [Voice over]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: So there we were.
- [Cut to Turk and Carla, Jordan and Dr. Cox]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Together,
- [Cut to Keith waiting for Elliot alone, Kim waiting for JD alone]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: but not together.
- [Elliot and JD's hands touch. They turn toward each other]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And as always, not knowing what the hell we were doing.
- [Out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Hey.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Hey.
- [They lean in to kiss]