- Jerry Seinfeld: [Lemon is wearing a wedding dress] Well, well, well. So you called that boyfriend.
- Liz Lemon: Yes I did.
- Jerry Seinfeld: And it went well?
- Liz Lemon: No. It didn't, Jer. A woman answered.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Another woman already? What did you say to her?
- Liz Lemon: [starts breaking down] I did a fake survey!
- Jerry Seinfeld: [raises voice in typical Seinfeld manner] You did the fake survey?
- Liz Lemon: [raises voice too] I know. I'm not over it! And now I'm wearing this. What is the deal with my life?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Are you imitating me?
- Liz Lemon: No! This is what I sound like when I cry!
- Jerry Seinfeld: I think I'm a little insulted.
- Liz Lemon: You're insulted? I'm crying!
- Jack: I'm back, Lemon. I've had the most productive summer of my life.
- Liz Lemon: Me too!
- Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits. "America's Next Top Pirate," "Are You Stronger Than a Dog," "MILF Island."
- Liz Lemon: "MILF Island?"
- Jack: Twenty-five super hot moms. Fifty eighth-grade boys. No rules.
- Liz Lemon: Oh yeah. Didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
- Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
- [Jerry Seinfeld has been digitally inserted in an episode of "Heroes"]
- Jerry Seinfeld: [talking to Ando and Hiro on the phone] Save the cheerleader, save the world!
- Ando Masahashi: [to Hiro, in Japanese] Save the cheerleader, save the world.
- Jerry Seinfeld: [annoyed] Yeah, that's what I said!
- Tracy Jordan: [Pretending a marriage proposal] Kenneth Parcell, will you take this ring... and sell it in the Jewish part of Midtown, and use the money to get us a Nintendo Wii?
- Kenneth Parcell: Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes!