- Jack Donaghy: [Reaching for the restaurant check] Now, Dick, let me get...
- Dick Lemon: Ahh-ah-ah Jack, it's on me. Wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick!
- [Liz's brother Mitch had an accident as a teenager and believes it's still 1985]
- Jack Donaghy: Oh in his mind Reagan is still President?
- Jack Donaghy: [to Mitch] You lucky bastard.
- Tracy Jordan: The holidays without drinkin' is rough. Turns out football is boring, my wife's sister ain't as cute as I though she was and I can not play the guitar.
- Liz Lemon: Nice to have some positive reinforcement, isn't it?
- Jack Donaghy: Well, it's only positive reinforcement when they say it to you. In my case they're just stating the facts. I do look like the Arrow shirt man, I did lace up my skates professionally and I did do a fabulous job finishing my muffin.
- Mitch Lemon: What's up? Do you like Wham? 'Cause, eh, I'm kinda like the George Michael of my school.
- Jack Donaghy: Mother, I'm sorry, but the Lemons invited me out, and I couldn't say no. They're very nice people.
- Colleen Donaghy: Oh, nice. I'll show you nice. Let's all meet down at the soda shop while this country turns into Mexico.
- Jack Donaghy: Now, you see, they don't say things like that. They're very polite to each other.
- Colleen Donaghy: I suppose you think that they're more nurturing than I am.
- Jack Donaghy: Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.
- Colleen Donaghy: Be careful. I'll cry. You give me 10 minutes with the Lemon family and I'll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale.
- Margaret Lemon: Knock knock! It's just the Lemons. We've come to drop off a little goodbye present.
- Jack Donaghy: Oh, thank you!
- Margaret Lemon: Oh, my goodness! What a beautiful office. Oh, your mother must be so proud of you.
- Dick Lemon: Wow, look at this carpet. I feel like we should take off our shoes. Should we take off our shoes?
- Jack Donaghy: No, please sit down and make yourselves comfortable.
- Margaret Lemon: Well, we don't want to bother you. We know you must have big plans.
- Jack Donaghy: Well, I was going to drive up to Vermont and visit my girlfriend, C.C.
- Margaret Lemon: Oh, I love that name, C.C!
- Dick Lemon: Ooh, I'll bet any girlfriend of yours is a real winner.
- Jack Donaghy: Well, she is a congresswoman.
- Margaret Lemon: Oh, my goodness!
- Dick Lemon: A congresswoman!
- Jack Donaghy: And she does have her own Lifetime movie.
- Margaret Lemon: Lifetime! Wowsers!
- Jack Donaghy: Why don't we cut the charade and you two tell me what exactly it is you want from me.
- Dick Lemon, Margaret Lemon: [shocked pause, then they burst out laughing]
- Mitch Lemon: [poses in chair] Hey, Dad, take my picture. Look, I'm the lady from "Flashdance!"
- Margaret Lemon: That's a good flashdance, honey.
- Jack Donaghy: [whispers to Liz] "Good flashdance."
- Jack Donaghy: What did your mother mean when she said that you were a beautiful genius? Was she taunting you?
- Colleen Donaghy: Let's change the subject. Politics.
- Dick Lemon: We don't discuss that stuff. Life is too short.
- Jack Donaghy: Really? Life is too short?
- [whispers to Colleen]
- Jack Donaghy: Because your life seems endless.