The Powerpuff Girls (TV Series)

Telephonies/Tough Love (1998)

Tom Kane: Professor, Him

Quotes 

• Him : [Looking at everyone loving the Powerpuff Girls]  Oh, how I HATE the Powerpuff Girls!

  Narrator : Hate the Powerpuff Girls? Who could hate the... Oh no! Please don't let it be Him!

  Him : [mockingly while bathing]  "Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls we LOVE you!"

  [turning the bathwater into lava] 

  Him : Powerpuff Girls, Powerpuff Girls, POWERPUFF GIRLS!

• Big Billy : [the exterior of Townsville Hall. The phone begins to ring; inside, pan slowly across the office, now trashed, and stop on the Gang asleep on and around the couch. Close-up of Billy, the ringing phone right in front of his face. He wakes up and answers it]  Hello?

  HIM : [over phone; using his evil voice]  I demand to speak with the Mayor!

  Big Billy : Uh, he's not here right now. Can I take a massage?

  [Cuts back and forth between "Him," phone in hand, and Big Billy] 

  HIM : Do you know when he'll be back?

  Big Billy : Uh... I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.

  HIM : Huh?

  [effeminate voice] 

  HIM : You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?

  Big Billy : Uh, this is Billy.

  HIM : Billy who?

  Big Billy : Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this?

  [a click, then a dial tone] 

  Big Billy : Hello?

  [Pull back to bring the rest of the Gang into view. An o.c. crash jolts them awake. Cut to the door, where Fuzzy, Mojo, and "Him" are now standing and looking very put out. Mojo is holding a blaster] 

  HIM : [effeminate voice, to evil]  So... you guys like to make crank calls!

  [the three proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang] 

• Him : [Speaking to his rubber duck]  Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who HATES those miserable little brats, hmm?

  [squeaks it] 

  Him : You hate them too? Oh, I knew I could count on you. But how could I possibly beat them WITH ALL THAT LOVE SURROUNDING THEM?

  [He squeezes the duckie again and holds it up to his ear] 

  Him : What's that, you say?

  [smiling broadly] 

  Him : Yes! THAT'S BRILLIANT! Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are soooo smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls...

  Him : [the water erupts into a red geyser behind him]  *FOREVER!*

• Mojo Jojo : [Mojo is sitting in a canvas beach chair in his lair. He is on the phone]  All right, all right, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time... I know.

  [the line beeps] 

  Mojo Jojo : I kn - hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.

  [He pushes a button to pick up the call] 

  HIM : [over the phone, using his evil voice]  Mojo! It's me...

  [Split-screen view to show him; he continues in his effeminate voice] 

  HIM : ..."Him."

  [the sound of this voice unsettles Mojo considerably] 

  Mojo Jojo : [jumps off his chair]  Yes, sir! What is it?

  HIM : You won't believe what just happened!

  Mojo Jojo : [hops back on his chair]  The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?

  HIM : What? How did you know?

  Mojo Jojo : The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.

  HIM : Well, put him on!

  [Mojo pushes a button on his phone, and the screen splits again to show Fuzzy, now dressed and back to his normal pink color from his earlier red enraged state at the Girls] 

  Fuzzy Lumpkins : Bushwhacked in my birthday suit!

  HIM : This is an outrage!

  Mojo Jojo : You are right. We're all citizens. Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless.

  Fuzzy Lumpkins : Birthday suit!

  [He sobs] 

  HIM : We should complain!

  Mojo Jojo : But to who?

• Him : [using his effeminate voice]  Hello, girls.

  [panting] 

  Him : What a pleasant surprise! Ooh, what's the occasion?

  Blossom : Uh... we were wondering...

  Him : [doing push-ups]  How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.

  Blossom : Uh, no, actually, did you do anything... evil today?

  Him : [touching toes]  No, not today.

  [still panting] 

  Him : Why do you ask?

  Blossom : No reason, just wondering.

  [Pull back; "Him" jogs around them as he speaks] 

  Him : This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.

  Blossom : So... you haven't been...

  Him : Nope.

  Blossom : [laughing nervously]  Okay, I guess we'll see you later.

  Him : I guess you will.

  Blossom : Okay. Bye, then.

  [She exits; her sisters follow] 

  Him : Goodbye, girls. Come back soon.

• Professor : Hello?

  Lil' Arturo : Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?

  Professor : Yes, by golly, you are.

  Lil' Arturo : Well, then... you just won ten million dollars!

  [He grins] 

  Professor : [flabbergasted]  Te-ten million d-ten million dollars? Oh, wow! I've never won anything in my life!

  Lil' Arturo : [laughing]  Please hold.

  Professor : Sure, I'll hold.

  [the other Gang members begin to laugh, and Lil' Arturo covers the mouthpiece and shushes them. Full-screen view: Ace lifts Lil' Arturo up to the phone, and he taps the hook to break the connection. Split-screen view: the whole Gang laughs heartily at the joke, while the Professor stands at his phone, a wide smile frozen on his face. The Gang's side expands to fill the screen again, and once more Ace picks up the receiver] 

• Professor : Hello?

  Lil' Arturo : Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?

  Professor : Yes, by golly, you are.

  Lil' Arturo : Well, then... you just won ten million dollars!

  [He grins] 

  Professor : [flabbergasted]  Te-ten million d-ten million dollars? Oh, wow! I've never won anything in my life!

  Lil' Arturo : [laughing]  Please hold.

  Professor : Sure, I'll hold.