Greek (TV Series)

Hazed and Confused (2007)

Scott Michael Foster: Cappie

Quotes 

• Cappie : Greetings. Four score and seven years ago our fore fathers who art in Heaven hallowed be their name brought unto this continent Kappa Tau Gamma. Ye though we walk through valley of the shadow of death we fear nothing and neither will you. As tonight you all become men. But not the way you may be thinking we do not have hookers, which isn't to say we didn't try. Regardless you all have been brought here before us to participate in a ceremonial rite of passage it derives from the secrets of our rituals know as Crypteia where a boy is sent out into the wild to live off the land fight for his life while protecting his village if he wasn't devoured by those gnarly looking wolfie things then he returned to the village a man.

  Rusty Cartwright : Isn't that the beginning of 300?

  Cappie : We did it first! You must stay out here all night you can not sleep also the Spartan boys had to wear their battle clothes for 24 hours.

  Rusty Cartwright : They were out there for months

  Cappie : Silence! Oh yeah you guys gotta do some light gardening cause the weeds are getting a little bad back here and to be one with the earth which is something else they did back then. Alright see you guys in the morning when you're men. Be well.

• Cappie : Tonight, you all become men, but not in the way you might be thinking, we do not have hookers which isn't to say we didn't try.

• Dr. Milton Hastings : Damn frat boys! You almost killed me! What are your names?

  Cappie : We're very sorry, sir.

  Dr. Milton Hastings : What fraternity are you in?

  The Beaver : But sir, we're just -

  Dr. Milton Hastings : Names!

  Cappie : We're the Omega Chis. My name is Evan Chambers. And you're kinda being a pansy about all this.

• Cappie : What kind of competition are we talking here? Who's got the most J Crew V-necks, wait, you might have us there.

• Cappie : This is ridiculous. Can we be mature and just say what we're all thinking?

  [beat] 

  Cappie : How the hell could they cancel Gilmore Girls?!

• Rusty Cartwright : This is just kinda like ping pong. I was champion five years in a row at the Eagle Scouts.

  Cappie : Wow! You're in the Eagle Scouts...