True Blood (TV Series)

Sparks Fly Out (2008)

Nelsan Ellis: Lafayette Reynolds

Quotes 

• Lafayette Reynolds : Excuse me, who ordered the hamburger with AIDS?

• Lafayette Reynolds : 'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger,

  [puts plate on table] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : with AIDS?

  Royce : I ordered the hamburger deluxe.

  Lafayette Reynolds : In this restaurant a hamburger deluxe come with frimp fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, AND AIDS! DO ANYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

  Royce : Yeah! I'm an American, and I got a say in who makes my food!

  Lafayette Reynolds : Well, baby, it's too late for that. Faggots been breeding your cows, raising your chickens, even brewing your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this motherfucker. Everything on your goddamn table got AIDS.

  Royce : You still ain't making me eat no AIDS burger.

  Lafayette Reynolds : Well, all you gotta do is say hold the AIDS. Here.

  [licks hamburger bun] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : Eat it.

  [jams it in Royce's face] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : [His friend stands up to help, Lafayette backhands him to the ground. Other friend steps up to help, Lafayette punches him in the stomach and he falls. Royce stands up, Lafayette elbows him in the jaw and he falls] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : Bitch, you come in my house,

  [picks up the rest of the hamburger] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : you gonna eat my food the way I FUCKING MAKE IT! Do you understand me?

  [dumps food in Royce's lap] 

  Lafayette Reynolds : Tip your waitress.

  [Walks toward kitchen; high fives Jason; goes back to kitchen] 

• Lafayette Reynolds : [cringing, while watching Jason demonstrate what he went through]  Damn!

  Jason Stackhouse : Yeah, just like that and no anesthesia either.

• Lafayette Reynolds : [about using v-juice]  You take this in, and you take in a piece of the vampire it came from.

• Lafayette Reynolds : [swings a bat as Tara throws stuff at him]  Bring it on, hooker. I was all-parish in high school.

• Jason Stackhouse : You're my dog.

  Lafayette Reynolds : Well, I love you right back.

• Lafayette Reynolds : Don't blame the Ferrari just 'cause your ass can't drive. You're gonna have to learn to ride the high, boyfriend.

• Lafayette Reynolds : [Jason sticks a meat thermometer slowly lengthwise into a sausage]  Damn!

  Jason Stackhouse : Yeah, just like that. And no anesthesia, either. First, I get hauled in by the cops; then, I gotta let a dude drain my johnson. That's a fuck of a day.