- Morty: Why... Why are they attacking us? I-I-I helped them.
- Rick: You gave them proof that there was something bigger and scarier to unite against, you little idiot! They would have gone back into the Dark Ages for a couple of generations, but instead, they dedicated themselves into making universe-destroying, un-thought-out technology like time travel all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth who couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle! Next time, stay in the fucking car!
- Tricia Lange: Summer, how supes shook am I about your playlisting fleekness tonight?
- Summer Smith: You love it? It's snake jazz. My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space and killed it with a hubcap, and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture for an antivenom, and they found this. It's my jam!
- Tricia Lange: Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz.
- Nancy: Can you alter the course of a species' evolution like that without repercussions?
- Summer Smith: Gee, I don't know, Nancy. Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd?
- Nancy: Sorry.
- Tricia Lange: Also, later, we need to discuss your clothing and your weight.
- Nancy: That's fair.
- 4th-Dimensional Being: [Phone rings at Time Cop Headquarters] Shleemypants here, what's up? Snakes? Time travel? They did what? How the fuck did... Okay, okay, I'm on it.
- [Hangs up]
- 4th-Dimensional Being: We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet.
- Other 4th-Dimensional Being: Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes.
- 4th-Dimensional Being: "I'm afraid of snakes," bullshit. You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of.
- Other 4th-Dimensional Being: All right. All right.
- Jerry Smith: What ray did you zap me with?
- Rick: I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air, and now your shoes are heavier than air, which makes you neutrally buoyant, which I find personally more impressive conceptually than walking on water. But what do I know? I wasn't born into the God business, I fucking earned it!
- Morty: Rick, wait. Go back. I-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope.
- Rick: That's right, Morty. Only 19 billion snakes can do that. That species was never getting beyond this stage. To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy, "if you bite your first contact on its ankle, you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck."