- Derek Beaugard: Wow, nice outfits, bozos.
- Virgil Fox: Hey, Derek. Have fun with Jocelyn.
- Derek Beaugard: Wh... What's that supposed to mean?
- Virgil Fox: Oh, I don't know, I figure since you're both so good with lipstick, you'd make a perfect match.
- Derek Beaugard: You were always gonna be a dork anyways, Virgil.
- Virgil Fox: And you were always gonna be a jerk, Derek. Have a nice life.
- [after Mr. Tolkan, who thinks Virgil and Derek are going to fight, orders them to follow him to his office]
- FBI Agent: Everybody freeze, FBI!
- [shows ID to Mr. Tolkan]
- Mysterious Man: Stop, CIA!
- [shows his own ID to Mr. Tolkan]
- Man - Bureau of Weights and Measures: Bureau of Weights and Measures.
- [shows his own ID to Mr. Tolkan]
- Virgil Fox: [to the latter agent] In the future, you should probably go first.
- Virgil Fox: [about the first day of freshman year] I have a chance to be somebody!
- Charlie Tuttle: All right, but know this; What happened down there is we became friends. That day we were tied to that stupid Rams statue. This day, this day that you hate so much because you got a little embarrassed. This is my favorite day. Even though I'd still be a nerd, it didn't really matter anymore. Because I had a real friend. And that would always make everything okay. So much for always, I guess.
- [walks away]
- Virgil Fox: You're 14 years old. You're 2 years away from your driver's license. You still call your underwear underpants. Yet I'm supposed to believe you can build a time machine?
- Charlie Tuttle: Yes. And based on my specifications, a person should be able to go 48 hours into the past.
- Virgil Fox: [scoffs] That's weak.
- Charlie Tuttle: Pardon me. How's YOUR time formula coming along?
- [the high school students all chant for "Minutemen" as the guys are about to try saving the world by entering a black hole]
- Virgil Fox: At least they finally got the name right.
- Jeanette: What's new, cockatoo? Hey, you look like a superhero!
- Charlie Tuttle: Thanks, pumpkin.
- [seizes Jeanette and kisses her]
- Zeke Thompson: [after Charlie lets go, in an undertone] The scene in the hallway hasn't happened yet, you've never kissed her before!
- Charlie Tuttle: Oh, right!
- [turns to the leaving Jeanette]
- Charlie Tuttle: Jeanette! Jeanette, I-I'm sorry, I was just-I can explain!
- [as Jeanette is leaving, she smiles]
- Zeke Thompson: Dude. It's okay.
- Charlie Tuttle: I know there's got to be an important use for the time machine.
- Virgil Fox: What's more important then being rich and popular? I'm kidding... mostly.
- Virgil Fox: Senior year and I'm still sitting at the dork table... No offence, guys, I do enjoy the stimulating conversations...
- Chester: None taken!
- Virgil Fox: The Minutemen must use their powers for truth and justice
- Charlie Tuttle: Who's the Minutemen?
- Virgil Fox: Us. The all important minutes of time. Cool, eh?
- Charlie Tuttle: No.
- Zeke Thompson: .Not really.
- Stephanie Jameson: Mon petit ami est un cerveau menteur de fromage
- Derek Beaugard: You see, that's why I need her help. I haven't a clue what you just said.
- Stephanie Jameson: I said, my boyfriend is a lying cheese brain
- Virgil Fox: [in front of the whole high school cafeteria] You robbed NASA?
- Charlie Tuttle: [pulls both his friends under the table and whispers] It's not as bad as it sounds.
- Virgil Fox: Yes, this is *worse* than it sounds!
- [after the guys go back in time to stop Chester from being bullied, thus inadvertently turning him into a bully himself]
- Mr. Tolkan: [stops Chester from bullying his former tormenters] Chester, last that I remember you were at the bottom of the food chain. And I will not *tolerate* students leap frogging into a higher social status!
- [Stephanie and her boyfriend Derek sit in Virgil's house, trying to convince him going back in time to stop Chester from streaking and thus ruining Derek's game]
- Derek Beaugard: I don't know what's got into all the nerds lately. It's like they just... don't know their place anymore.
- Charlie Tuttle: [about to step in his time machine when he notices what Zeke has in his hands] Oh, yes, we mustn't forget the grappling hook.
- Zeke Thompson: Oh, everybody's gotta make fun of the hook... you'll be sorry.
- [after skipping without notice hanging out in Charlie's room in favor of Derek's party]
- Virgil Fox: Charlie, how many more times do I have to apologize?
- Charlie Tuttle: 212 times ought to do it.
- Zeke Freak: [approaching the now high school famous Zeke in the high school cafeteria along with her female friend] You know, you're kind of scary and unapproachable... can we sit with you?
- [as Jeanette wakes him up in his own bedroom]
- Jeanette: Good monring, Magpie. Your mom let me in. It is such a nice day. You know, I was thinking. Maybe we could go on a walk and talk about our future together. And then... Oh! I'd like an orange house. I'd like to have an orange house.
- Charlie Tuttle: The results!
- Jeanette: That way, you wouldn't even have to have an address and-and on the envelope you could just say "Jeanette Pachelewski, orange house."
- Charlie Tuttle: It's done!
- Jeanette: Oh, um, I'm no scientist, but that doesn't look good.
- Charlie Tuttle: We created a... a...
- Jeanette: A... a... Spit it out, Bluebird.
- Charlie Tuttle: A black hole!
- Jeanette: That's bad, right?
- Charlie Tuttle: [after the NASA technicians tell him they already know about his time travels] So you already know about the black hole?
- FBI Agent: What?
- Charlie Tuttle: The black hole. Oh, I knew you guys were underfunded, but come on!
- Jeanette: Charlie! Charlie, um, come back in one piece, okay?
- [kisses Charlie, who is frozen in shock]
- Zeke Thompson, Virgil Fox: Come on, Charlie, we gotta go. Charlie? Charlie!
- [Charlie still stands there, staring as Zeke picks him up and walks away with Virgil]
- Virgil Fox: [Chester is streaking across the football field] For a guy with nudity issues, he's really come a full circle.
- Zeke Thompson: [Charlie is dancing and singing uncontrollably after their first successful time travel trip] Is he okay?
- Virgil Fox: He really loves science.