Love American Style (TV Movie 1999) - Mariska Hargitay as Wendy (segment "Love And The Blind Date")

Jill : Are you sure he's not gay?

Wendy : Oh, I'm positive. The girl that set us up slept with him once.

Jill : And if he's so great, why isn't she still with him?

Wendy : Because she realized she's gay. No, not from him, it'd been coming for a while!
Wendy : Do you think it's funny, watching a woman soaked and sucking vodka from a straw?

Guy : Well, when you add the running mascara and the slurpee noise, yeah, it's kinda funny!
Guy : Wow, almost made you laugh.

Wendy : No you didn't. I was almost laughing at something I heard the other day.

Guy : Oh, yeah? So what is it? I like to laugh.

Wendy : In the middle of the night, this man thought that he was drinking water, but he accidentally drank battery acid and died.

Guy : That is funny! That reminds me of this funny story I heard about this woman who found her husband in bed with another woman and shot herself.
Wendy : You wanna know why you're all so threatened? Because we literally don't need you anymore. We can go to the sperm bank and impregnate ourselves. We can make our own money. And I haven't met a man yet with the uncomplaining fortitude of my favorite appliance. Face it, you're obsolete, the whole lot of you!

Guy : Yeah, but who's gonna put their arms around you when you've had a bad day - like today?

Mariska Hargitay: Wendy (segment "Love And The Blind Date")