- Clara Bagley: Gracie, when your father fell on his head, what was he doing up in a tree?
- Gracie Allen: Oh, well that's because he was nearsighted. You see, there was a woodpecker tapping up in the tree but my father didn't realize that so he climbed up to see who was knocking on the door. Why did you ask?
- Clara Bagley: I-I-I... I don't know!
- Gracie Allen: I'm awfully sorry, but my husband, this gentleman who's going to sleep in the guest room and cook his own meals from now on, is very, very stubborn.
- George Burns: You always said I was a great judge of talent!
- Harry von Zell: Well George, you are. My gosh, only a stupid man would say that you aren't a great judge of talent, and you certainly never have been one. I, uh, don't mean that you've never been a great judge of talent, I mean a stupid man, because you certainly are one. A great judge of talent, that is. Well, if I wasn't a stupid man, I couldn't say this. I mean, if I - if I wasn't a - uh, uh... Well, don't stand there, get me out of this!