- DS Ben Jones: You don't have to look quite so smug, sir.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Of course I *do*. It's one of the perks of experience.
- Colonel Henry Hammond: Sophie, hang it. Is she a, is she a communist?
- Arabella Hammond: No, Henry, she's a social worker.
- DS Ben Jones: So what's in there?
- [reaches for box lid]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Hey-ey-ey.
- [stops Jones opening it]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Do you know what a MacGuffin is?
- DS Ben Jones: No.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, it's one of them.
- Johnny Hammond: Let's face it. What do you get for burglary these days? A holiday in Wales with a social worker?
- Dr Bullard: Tenerife if it's serious.
- Dr Bullard: [Sarcastically] Very difficult to operate a wheelchair when someone's shot half your head off.
- [last lines]
- Joyce Barnaby: How did you get His Honour to do this for free?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: His Honour is doing this out of the kindness of his heart.
- Joyce Barnaby: That is nice.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, I thought so.
- Kate Hammond: Well, if you really must know, around that time I was having a bit of a serious snog.
- DS Ben Jones: Can I have the gentleman's name?
- Kate Hammond: The gentleman's name was Caroline.
- DS Ben Jones: Caroline!
- [she just looks at him]
- DS Ben Jones: Oh.
- Arabella Hammond: David, I picked you for my occasional indulgence because it appealed to a certain perversity within me. When having sex with you, I like to imagine how deeply horrified the Hammond clan would be. But, believe me, otherwise it was pure farmyard, nothing else at all.