Gossip Girl (TV Series)

Desperately Seeking Serena (2008)

Ed Westwick: Chuck Bass

Quotes 

• [the Palace Hotel calls Dan's cell] 

  Dan Humphrey : Hey, I've been wondering where you were.

  Chuck Bass : You mean all your life?

• Dan Humphrey : [thinks it's Serena on the phone]  Hey, I've been wondering where you were.

  Chuck Bass : [but it's not Serena]  You mean all of your life?

  Dan Humphrey : Don't take this the wrong way, Serena, but you sound just like this jackass we know.

  Chuck Bass : Serena has food poisoning. She's too sick to come to your play date.

  Dan Humphrey : Put her on the phone.

  Chuck Bass : The bathroom doesn't get reception.

  Dan Humphrey : Somehow I don't believe you.

  Chuck Bass : And I would like to say I'm a little glad about that, but my poor sick sister has asked for my assistance in the matter, so I'll leave it at this. She's not coming. Don't try calling. Humphrey, always a pleasure.

• Chuck Bass : [about Blair]  She really needs to tone down the social niceties. It's embarrassing.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Eventually, the two of you are gonna have to work out your issues.

  Chuck Bass : What issues? I'm issue free, and based on my exhaustive research, so are you.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Georgina?

  Chuck Bass : According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle. She's in Switzerland, dating the prince of Belfort.

  Serena van der Woodsen : There's a prince of Belfort? And she's dating him? Oh, thank God!

  Chuck Bass : Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you with piece of mind and maybe Chuck in the room?

  Serena van der Woodsen : [shoves Chuck]  Oh, shoot, except we're siblings!

  Chuck Bass : Georgie always brought out the devil in you. Part of me is disappointed she's not here.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Mm, I wonder which part.

  Chuck Bass : It's been a while since I saw the old Serena.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Well, thanks to her, the new one has to break 2000 on her SAT's, so if you could just go smarm elsewhere.

  Chuck Bass : The offer still stands. I know a lovely little redhead that's just dying to be you for the day.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Oh, I'll leave the cheating to you, Chuck. I plan on taking the SAT's myself.

• Serena van der Woodsen : [SOS call on phone]  I'm so stupid. So, so, so stupid.

  Chuck Bass : You don't sound stupid, you sound drunk. What have you been into?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Georgina. Good news is she doesn't want anything except a party. Bad news is... I partied.

  Chuck Bass : Care to paint a picture? Does this party require clothes?

  Serena van der Woodsen : I'm supposed to be at Dan's, studying. I called to tell him I'd be late, but not this late. I... I just have to call him and say...

  Chuck Bass : ...That instead of studying with him, you're out with your old pal Georgina.

  Serena van der Woodsen : No, I don't want him to know she exists. My Mom, Blair, even you can't stand her. Dan, of all people, cannot know Georgie. Can you help me?

  Chuck Bass : [low voice]  Say you need me.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Chuck...!

  Chuck Bass : Hearing you scream my name is more than enough. I'll take care of it and pick you up in ten.