Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Is There a Mrs. Waffles? (2007)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : Oh, Raffi, you magnificent son of a bitch. How does he do it? What does he have that I don't?
Alan Harper : Well, judging from first impressions: a genuine love of children and bladder control.
Charlie Harper : That was a cheap shot.
Alan Harper : I take them when I can.
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Charlie Harper : Remember those songs I recorded last week?
Jake Harper : Those songs sucked.
Charlie Harper : Of course they sucked! They're kids' songs!
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Charlie Harper : Who knew there were book stores for kids?
Alan Harper : Everyone but you.
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Charlie Harper : [on phone] Well, I'm not going to do it. What are you going to do, sue me? Really?
[to Alan]
Charlie Harper : Can he sue me?
Alan Harper : Did you sign a contract?
Charlie Harper : [back on phone] What time is the concert?
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Charlie Harper : Hey, guess what?
Alan Harper : There's no God?
Charlie Harper : On the contrary. There *is* a God, and he love me long time.
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Charlie Harper : [talking about Vicki's daughter, Jodie, at the grocery store] Her birthday's coming up?
Vicki : This weekend she'll be six.
Charlie Harper : Oh, what a magical age. Tell you what - how would Jodie like a free "Charlie Waffles" birthday concert?
Vicki : You would do that?
Charlie Harper : Who loves kids?
Vicki : Charlie Waffles.
Charlie Harper : Riiiiight. Call me.
Vicki : [reading Charlie's business card] Look, it's got a waffle on it! How adorable.
Charlie Harper : [to Alan] Told you I had to pick something up.