Psych (TV Series)

There's Something About Mira (2008)

James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Juliet O'Hara : Lassiter is just being a child about his detective exam score!

  Shawn Spencer : Wait, the D.E.T.? I took that when I was fifteen. I got 100.

  Carlton Lassiter : I'm sorry... you said you got a perfect score?

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah.

  Juliet O'Hara : And you were fifteen?

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah. Why, what did you guys get?

  [beat] 

  Carlton Lassiter : You know, it's probably changed a lot since then. You can't really compare it.

  Juliet O'Hara : Oh, apples and oranges.

• Shawn Spencer : Brace yourself. Jann doesn't actually exist.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : What?

  Shawn Spencer : Fact: There is no record of Jann Angland, buyer of fine wines and food, on the internet anywhere. I did find a Jeff Angland. He's an albino with a website dedicated to "Short Circuit".

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You put us on the e-mail list?

  Shawn Spencer : That's a given.

• Mira Gaffney : It's Gus's fault, really. Ever since what happened between he and I, my parents have been skeptical of every guy I've been with: Andy, Amir, Guru Anupam, Gay Andy, Anthony...

  Shawn Spencer : Does Gay Andy know you call him that?

  Mira Gaffney : He gave himself that name.

• [to a private investigator who has very obviously been following them] 

  Shawn Spencer : If I might give you a little criticism, I don't think you've quite mastered the "private" part. Of course, if you were going for "most obvious" detective... nailed it!

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You already wrote my eulogy?

  Shawn Spencer : I don't remember that.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : [reading]  "Gus is survived by his best friend Shawn Spencer and twelve cats."

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : I don't know if I can control myself around her, so you have to promise you'll stop me from getting sucked into Hurricane Mira again.

  Shawn Spencer : Just call me the Suck Stopper.

  [pause] 

  Shawn Spencer : Scratch that, don't... don't ever call me that.

• Mrs. Gaffney : You know, Shawn, I have very fine taste, and I like my wine, like I like my men: white and hairy.

  Shawn Spencer : That doesn't make any sense. None whatsoever.

• Mrs. Gaffney : Take a sip before I finish the bottle.

  [Shawn takes a sip, then spits it out] 

  Shawn Spencer : That's... that's disgusting.

  Mrs. Gaffney : That's a thirty thousand dollar bottle of Spanish sherry.

  [Shawn reluctantly takes another sip] 

  Shawn Spencer : [strained]  Mmm... it's good.

• Shawn Spencer : [picks up a bottle]  The wine is named Mira.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Maybe they name a wine after all their employees.

  Shawn Spencer : Remind me to grab a bottle of Leonard on the way out.

• [looking at a photo of Gus's Mexican wedding] 

  Shawn Spencer : And your best man was a goat? I was supposed to be that goat!

• Shawn Spencer : [voiceover]  Dude, skydiving is one thing, but how did she get you to marry her?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : [voiceover]  Three words. Three little words.

  Mira Gaffney : Let's try Goldschlager!

• Shawn Spencer : Come on, man, we haven't played golf in forever. This is going to be fun. Plus, I promise to keep my "Caddyshack" references to a minimum.

  [Shawn and Gus head to the first hole] 

  Shawn Spencer : Now I've heard this club is restricted, so, uh... don't tell them you're Jewish.

• Mira Gaffney : [lovingly]  Sweet Gus...

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah, he's pretty sweet, all right. His head is like a chocolate-covered honeydew.

• Karen Vick : How sure are you about this theory?

  Shawn Spencer : Crystal.

  [pause] 

  Shawn Spencer : That doesn't really work. Uh, very. Very sure.

• Shawn Spencer : [laughing]  This guy! Talking about one of *us* being married! Could you even imagine that? Why aren't you laughing?

  [Gus is quiet] 

  Shawn Spencer : [nervous]  Why aren't you laughing?