The Muppets (2011)

Dave Goelz: Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Zoot, Beauregard, Waldorf, Kermit Moopet

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Waldorf finishes explaining the contract] 

  Statler : If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of important plot point.

  Waldorf : I hope so. Otherwise I would've bored half the audience half to death.

  Statler : You mean half the audience is still alive?

• Statler : I always dreamed we'd be back here.

  Waldorf : Dreams? Those were nightmares!

• [from trailer] 

  Statler : Is this movie in 3-D?

  Waldorf : Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!

• Mahna Mahna : [sings]  Mahna Mahna

  Tex Richman : You're breaking the law! I own that name!

  Snowth , Snowth : [the Snowths sing]  Doo-doo, do-do-doo, do-do do do do do doo.

  Gonzo : [with a bowling ball]  Hey guys, I think I finally worked out how to - Whoo-ha!

  [Gonzo throws the bowling ball and hits Tex Richman] 

  Fozzie Bear : 'Oil' bet that hurt.

  [Tex Richman starts laughing] 

  The Newsman : This just in: Richman gives back Muppet theater and name. Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.

  Tex Richman : [sings]  Mahna Mahna

  Snowth , Snowth : [the Snowths sing]  Doo-doo, do-do-doo

• Statler : [the door opens]  There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.

  Waldorf : Or so we've been 'toad'.

  [Statler and Waldorf chuckle] 

• Statler : [the door opens, Statler, Waldorf, Uncle Deadly, Bobo the Bear, and Tex Richman enter the room]  There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.

  Waldorf : Or so we've been 'toad'.

  [Statler and Waldorf chuckle] 

  Tex Richman : Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've loved the Muppets since I was a boy.

  Uncle Deadly , Bobo : Mm-hmm.

  Tex Richman : And what better way to honor the Muppets than to make this beautiful studio a Muppet museum.

  [Walter gasps while hiding underneath a table] 

  Tex Richman : I think I'll call this room the "Kermit the Frog's Old Office Room".

  Uncle Deadly : Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.

  Bobo : Oh, that is lovely.

  Waldorf : Now, ahem, this here is the standard "Rich and Famous" contract Kermit signed 30 years ago that contains...

  Tex Richman : The deed to this property.

  Waldorf : Exactly.

  Waldorf : Now, this contract is 100 percent iron-clad, with one minor exception: if the Muppets can raise the $10 million it would cost to buy the building before this contract expires, then they get their studio back.

  Statler : You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of an important plot point.

  Waldorf : Well, I hope so; otherwise I just bored the audience half to death.

  Statler : You mean half the audience is still alive?

  [Statler and Waldorf chuckle] 

  Waldorf : It's nice doing business with you.

  Statler : Yes, sir. Come on.

  Waldorf : Good-bye.

  Bobo : [to Uncle Deadly]  I love geriatric humor.