The Muppets (2011)
Jason Segel: Gary
Photos
Quotes
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Gary : You always believe in other people, but that's easy. Sooner or later, you gotta believe in yourself, too, because that's what growing up is. It's becoming who you want to be. You have to try.
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Gary : It sounds like you guys aren't getting back together any time soon.
Kermit the Frog : [sadly] No.
Mary : This is going to be a *really* short movie.
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[as Gary and Walter prepare to leave for Los Angeles]
Walter : Maybe Kermit will be there!
Gary : I wouldn't get your hopes up, buddy. The Muppets haven't put on a show together in years. I don't think they use the studios for anything but tours anymore.
Walter : I think that's just an Internet rumor, like, "There's a country called Turkey!"
Gary : Walter, how many times do we have to go through this? Turkey is a real place!
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[singing]
Gary : Am I a man, or am I a Muppet? If I'm a man, that makes me a Muppet of a man.
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Walter : Either way, we've got to find Kermit! He'll know what to do.
Mary : How do we find Kermit? Nobody's seen him in years.
[Gary, Mary, and Walter pass a man selling Hot Star Maps in front of Pink's Hot Dogs]
Walter : [gasp] Wait, stop the car! I have an idea.
[cut to the trio eating some chili dogs]
Gary : These are delicious! Great idea, Walter.
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Mary : So, what do we do now?
Gary : I don't see a doorbell, and the house looks empty.
Walter : Gary, throw me over.
Gary : What?
Walter : Gary, just throw me over already!
Gary : Okay. Okay, here we go, OK...
Walter : One, two, three.
Walter : [Walter grunts as Gary gets ready to throw him over the fence] That's good.
Gary : Sorry.
Walter : No, it's good.
Mary : Guys? I think that's an electric fence.
Walter : Mary, it's Kermit the Frog.
Gary : OK buddy, head down.
Gary , Walter : One, two, three!
[Gary tosses Walter into the electric fence, and Walter screams in pain as he falls to the ground]
Mary : It's an electric fence.
Gary : Yep.
Gary : Oh, my gosh. Walter? Walter, buddy? Walter, can you hear me?
Walter : [in a raspy voice] Throw me again.
Gary : No, I don't... I don't think that's a good idea.
Walter : What kind of throw was that?
Kermit the Frog : Excuse me...
[Angelic choir voices are heard as Walter sees Kermit with a glow of light behind him; the lights and voices are actually coming from a bus that says "Good Shepherd Church Choir: 'O sing, ye righteous!' " on the side]
Kermit the Frog : You okay? That was quite a tumble.
[Walter faints]
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[singing]
Gary : Am I a man, or am I a Muppet? If I'm a Muppet, then I'm a very manly Muppet.
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Gary : [entering Walter's dressing room] Walter, hey.
Walter : Gary. Oh, where have you been? I need you to help me figure out a talent.
Gary : A talent for what?
Walter : For the show. Kermit asked me to do an act in the show. I... I could be a Muppet.
Gary : Wow. Wow, Walter, that's amazing.
Walter : Yeah, but I need to figure out if I have a talent.
Gary : Well, you know what? I'm sure you'll think of something, but right now I actually... I need your help. I'm starting to get the feeling that Mary's upset with me about something, and I don't know what, and I was hoping maybe you would talk to her for me.
Walter : Gary, I'd love to help you out, but I can't leave the theater now. This is important.
Gary : Well, hold on a second. I mean, my life is important, too.
Walter : Yeah, but the whole reason we came here was to see the Muppets.
Gary : No, it wasn't! The whole reason we came here was to take a vacation where I took Mary out to a fancy dinner because it's our tenth anniversary, and then...
Gary : [dawning on him] Walter, what day is today?
Walter : Friday.
Gary : Yeah. Yeah, that's it. This is bad. Walter, this is really bad. I have to...
Gary : [running off] Mary! Mary!
Walter : Wait. Gary, I need you.
