Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Fish in a Drawer (2008)

Conchata Ferrell: Berta

Quotes 

• Berta : So, who do you suppose was smoking Teddy's sausage?

  Courtney : Berta! He was my father!

  Berta : I'm sorry. Who do you suppose was smoking your father's sausage?

• Berta : You can't blame him. You gotta figure that boinking Evelyn is like riding a bicycle over train tracks. You'll get where you're going, but you're gonna feel every bump.

• Berta : I'm warning you, coffee tends to shoot through me. So, if you've got a cavity search planned, you better do it pretty quick.

  Wes Tosterone : We don't need to do a cavity search.

  Berta : Can I request one?

  Wes Tosterone : What do you know about Teddy Leopold?

  Berta : I know he was hot for me. He was always flirting.